Clever Life Hacks That You Shouldn’t Try….

I just learned something new. While it may be fun and a much needed break to go off on a quick vacation in the middle of the week, there are drawbacks. The biggest one is the constant forgetfulness of what day of the week it is upon coming home.

At least half a dozen times today I thought it was Sunday. Seriously. I think I need a vacation to recover from my vacation. 😀

While on vacation though, I thought of this blog. And I have a question for all my readers:

So, let’s say you and your spouse went to a Weird Al Yankovic concert and during said concert, Weird Al performed the grammar appreciation song Word Crimes. During the song you actually learned a few tips that will make you a better writer and blogger. And because you are in the process of getting your blog to generate moolah, you wonder,

“Hmmmm….maybe I could write this concert off as a business expense.”

Eh, maybe that’s not the best idea. 😛

Lulabelle Cooks Without a Net: PMS Symptom Reliever Smoothie……..

**Before we begin today’s entry, a disclaimer: I am not a doctor or medical professional of any kind (big fat “duh!” but being that people believe anything they read online, it has to be said). If you are experiencing raging PMS, please consult your doctor before embarking on weird alternative remedies found on your favorite blog. 😉

So last week I wrote a post about what happens when grief and PMS collide. To sum up, things can get pretty dicey. So this weekend I decided to do something about it. And all I needed was a blender, Google, and food we already had in the fridge/freezer.

Different foods do different, magical things for our body. Apparently. Fish oil from fish helps our hearts, eggs and other protein rich foods help our brain function. There are even foods that supposedly ease PMS symptoms.

Say WHAAATT?? :-O

According to my quick google search, foods like yogurt, brazil nuts, dark chocolate and salmon help reduce PMS symptoms. You know what comes next…..Let’s take this to the kitchen!!

So I knew we had dark chocolate, yogurt, almond butter and spinach, so I added those into the blender (quick tip: If you are working with Hershey’s Kisses, make sure to unwrap each kiss completely so that you don’t accidentally add part of the foil or flag to your smoothie….although that would add extra fiber…hmmmm….).

Then I grabbed a frozen banana that I had to chisel out of the tupperware container with my finger, threw that in the blender with milk, cinnamon and a tiny bit of chili powder (for, you know, antioxidants and stuff). While I was up in the freezer getting the banana I saw a partially used bag of frozen broccoli that had probably been there since the Eisenhower administration. With a, “Eh, why not” attitude, I threw a bunch of the frozen green goodness into the concoction.

Then I gave it a whirl.

The smell upon opening the blender was not unlike french toast with a hint of chocolate. I could stomach that. Totally.

I was surprised at the taste; a bit yeasty not unlike bread. With a chocolate element. It was basically a grainier version of Nutella. And now I want Nutella. These PMS cravings are no joke, guys.

Overall, I’m not for sure that this smoothie actually helped to alleviate my symptoms, but I definitely felt like I was being proactive in helping myself feel more human-like. And it involved chocolate, so I really couldn’t go wrong. 😀

Bon-Appetit Y’all! ❤

**We put a man on the moon, cured polio, made a wristwatch you can watch TV on and THESE menu items DON’T exist. Priorities, people!! 😛

Image appears courtesy of Yahoo search

LAFF On Saturday: Strange Bathfellows……

Gosh, I’m not sure I even want to write this one, but something happened to me recently that has never happened before and it taught me that I probably need to be more mindful in my life and STOP hurrying (even when I’m in a hurry 😛 ).

Like I said, I wasn’t sure I was gonna write this one. Partly, eh, mostly, because it involves an element of phobia for a certain cross-section of the population. But as a blogger, I’ve often thought, “Well, if something crazy happens ever in life, maybe I can at least get a good blog out of it.”

I guess I’ve always been a bit of an optimist.

But back to what happened. Here is probably the part of the story where I warn you, if you don’t like surprise bug stories, you should probably stop reading now. I won’t be offended. 😉

So Thursday afternoon Chad and I were in a hurry. We both had to get ready for work at the same time. Doing everything as fast as we could. I had to jump into the bathtub and quickly scrub myself and wash my hair.

Now Chad and I both have long hair, which means we tend to track it everywhere. Including the bathtub. Usually I check before I get in to clean up any hair that has fallen in the tub. Thursday I was in too big of a rush. As I went to dip my hair in the water, I saw some loose hair floating on the surface that I’d neglected to collect before running my bath. So I reached my hand in to retrieve it and, “HOLY MOTHER! That’s NOT hair!! It has an EXOSKELETON!!”

A cricket.

I was bathing with a very real, very dead…….cricket. And it took me so long to realize this that one of its legs was floating 4 inches away from his body. Poor creepy guy.

So, to sum up, it’s prudent to slow down in life and enjoy every moment. Then make sure you aren’t bathing with anything with antenna. 😉

Happy weekend!!

PS: Apparently hurrying seems to run in my family. Here is a story that happened to my cousin on the SAME DAY. Enjoy! 😀

https://hashtagsareforfootballfields.wordpress.com/2016/06/23/why-life-on-auto-pilot-just-doesnt-work/

*I’m pretty sure if that cricket had had a tiny crown on it’s head I wouldn’t have screamed as loud. Probably. Image appears courtesy of funnyasduck.net

When Grief and PMS Collide……Strap Yourself in For a Bumpy Ride!….

Life over the past two weeks has been a blur since we had to put down our cat. The grief and pain I’ve gone through is something that I really didn’t expect. But a few days ago, fate or the universe decided to add one more element to my life; PMS. This is what can happen when grief and PMS collide:

1. You get a promo code from a friend for one of those snack subscription services and hurriedly order your first free box…..Then wait pretty impatiently for it to arrive at your door-thinking for some reason delivery would be immediate. Then you realize it takes a week to be delivered. You begin to hate the invention of time.

2. You eat your weight in Hershey’s chocolate and remind yourself how great of a decision you made in marrying Chad, as he bought you said chocolate without prompting.

3. For some unknown reason you wake up one morning to find your hair is so super frizzy on one side that when you comb through it, you pull out so much hair that you are inches away from having a bald spot. On the side of your head. #thatshot 
:-P

4. You finally break down and make that phone call to your therapist to schedule an appointment to discuss your grief over losing your cat. (Sidenote: Dear reader, if you have ever experienced the loss of a pet and are having difficulty dealing with the flood of emotions that are a part of the experience, DO NOT for a moment think that going to therapy to work through them is a sign of weakness or weird. Your pet was a part of your life, and if you don’t have human kids, they were your children. You are loved, you matter and you deserve to take care of yourself ❤ ).

5. You find another affiliate opportunity for your blog, but when you try to add them to your account, something goes wrong. You end up emailing said company and your tone is ever so slightly angsty. You cross your fingers and pray that they just ignore the tone and answer your inquiry.

6. In a moment of frustration when you are alone, you unleash a series of choice 4-letter words that would make your grandma blush. You instantly feel moderately better.

*What to consider if you are a guy and you think I’m being overly-dramatic in any way, shape or form. 😛 #NoUterusNoOpinion

 

LAFF on Saturday: We’re Screwed! (Or Why Things Are About to Get Way More Exciting in Our Lives)….

Noticing Phoebe up on her hind legs peering into an open drawer of my desk, the following conversation took place (I will be translating Phoebe’s words because I speak fluent cat):

 

Me: “Phoebe, what are you doing?”

 

Phoebe: **glances at me as she starts to climb down. Then she runs to me and sits on my lap** “Nothing mom!”

 

Me: “Are you planning on trying to put your new brother or sister into that drawer?”

 

Phoebe: **peering up at me with innocent eyes** “Yeah. I was thinking about it”

I’m glad we have a month to go until our new feline addition arrives. 😀

 

Things are about to get really fun around here! 😀 Have any of you guys tried to integrate a kitten into your family that includes an elderly cat? How did it go? Do you have any tips? Let me know in the comment section. 🙂

Happy weekend!

*Dramatization of a scenario that is likely to play out at our house in the near future appears courtesy of Yahoo Search.

The Greatest Of These Is Love…..

Among all the hate and vitriol that was on Facebook yesterday regarding the attack in Orlando, I found this. May we all strive to love each other, no matter what:

“Maybe he was tired or a little embarrassed or both, but the Muslim student I just dropped off at the Islamic Center didn’t really know how to react when I told him that as a Christian, I was giving him a free ride tonight as a gesture of friendship because of the horrific weekend that Muslims and our country in general have had. I hope it gets his week off to a better start.”

LAFF: Where Lulabelle Can’t Decide on a Title For Today’s Entry Due to Too Much to Do…..

This week I engaged in an activity that I need to do more.

I cleaned the house, including several vacuumings (thanks to wonderful friends who volunteered to help).

Now as I said I really should do this more. Especially considering what I found:

1. Pieces of the Magna Carta: (No idea how it got into the office closet or how in the world it ended up in shreds. I’m pretty sure we shouldn’t be trusted with anything ever again!)

2. The Ark of the Covenant: You wouldn’t think that thing would compact to fit into a tiny space, but you’d be wrong!

4. 10 bajillion dollars….in change. 5 Guys Burgers, here I come.

5. Half a dozen expired gift cards for various places in town that we never got to use because as soon as they hit the house, they formed an invisibility cloak around them and were never seen again. The invisibility cloak expired yesterday.

I died a little bit inside when I discovered them.

From now on I will try to clean more often. Apparently. 😀

Happy Weekend, y’all!

*The IT Crowd GIF appears courtesy of Memecenter.com, our brilliant friends across the pond, and my mad googling skills

The Heavenly Bridge……

On Saturday night at 10:22 pm, we said goodbye to our oldest cat, our beloved furry penguin, as she crossed the Rainbow Bridge into the arms of Jesus.

If you’ve ever had to say an abrupt goodbye to a furbaby, you understand how hard this has been.

I’ll be doing another blog on this subject soon-ish.

Remember dear reader, you are never alone, even in your grief.

❤

To our furry penguin:

We’ll love you forever.
We’ll like you for always.
As long as we’re living,
Our baby you’ll be.

*The above poem originally appeared in Robert Munch’s book, “Love You Forever” and is adapted from the original version.

 

LAFF on Saturday: Adventures in Babysitting Ft. GLOZELL…..

This week I really struggled with what to post for my LAFF (Lulabelle’s Anxiety Free Friday) but since I woke up at 6:30AM to check on our oldest cat, I haven’t been able to go back to sleep so I’ve been sucked into the rabbit hole of Youtube.

And discovered the following video.

Glozell Green is a comedian from Los Angeles, California and is known for wearing green lipstick. She is also famous for filming herself doing crazy challenges like drinking hot sauce and making up ridiculous characters.

Enjoy! 😀

Glozell appears courtesy of Youtube and the internets

When Awkward Dating Profile Photos Turn into Happily Ever After….

They say a picture is worth a thousand words. 8 years ago last month I was perusing profiles on ChristianCafe.com, a Christian online dating website. One particular profile picture stood out to me:

Now to be fair, there were two photos on his profile that were of his actual face, but the one of a cat drinking out of toilet, a look of no regret on it’s face, definitely piqued my interest and made me laugh so hard I had to  get to know him further. So I sent him a message:

“Hi, I enjoyed reading your profile and thought I’d drop you a line and say hello. Hope you have a great day!” (Ok, this isn’t verbatim what I wrote, but it’s close to what I could remember. I had thought I had this conversation saved, but alas, I did not 😦  )

Oh man, now I am forever grateful that he disregarded my awkward, pithy delivery and wrote me back. 😛

For the next month we wrote back and forth. I came to find out that the man who posted the funny picture of his cat shamelessly drinking out of the toilet on his profile page was also an amazing writer. With an even zanier, quick wit. He was kind, generous and really funny.

I was hooked. I’d even wake up at 6:00am on a SATURDAY to chat with him in real time.

6AM….ON A SATURDAY!! If that doesn’t say TRUE LOVE, I don’t know what does! 😛

And so our first date-in person-commenced a month later….which led to more dates.

Fast forward 5 years, including almost 3 long distance, and we stood up in fancy clothes, before God, and our friends and family and vowed to support and love each other under one roof till death parts us.

Almost 3 years in and I am forever grateful that I clicked on that profile picture.

So dear reader, if you are contemplating doing the online dating thing–I know, it can be pretty intimidating–set standards and keep them high, but also keep an open mind.

I promise you’ll be glad you did. 😉

Cheers!

**Our favorite wedding photo appears courtesy of Ryan Miller and our personal archives

*Affiliate link for Christian Cafe used. All opinions are my own.