Money Well Spent: Why

**FTC Disclosure: Affiliate link to sign up for is below. As always, my opinions are my own.

Chad and I met online a little over 8 years ago. I was at a point in my life where I just wasn’t meeting anyone in person, even though I lived in a city of 1 million people. Honestly the only way I was gonna meet someone was if the FedEx guy asked me out, which…..never happened.

So what’s a girl to do?

So I decided to take my search for love online. After all, I wasn’t tall or shiny enough to compete on The Bachelorette. 😛

It was around this time that online dating as a concept became more mainstream and the stigma that had been long attached began to fall off like stubborn onion skin.

So my next thought was, which site will I choose? I decided to go with a site that a good friend of mine had. Where he met his wife;

So I made an account and sat back and watched the guys flock to me. Ha! Ok, it didn’t happen like that. Really. 😀 In actuality I spent time on the daily going through guy’s profiles from the geographic area and age range I had selected.

After several weeks of using the site, I ran across a profile featuring a cat drinking out of the toilet. If you regularly read my blogs, you’ll know that I eventually married the man that posted that picture.

Today I wanted to give you a few reasons why I think ChristianCafe is unique to other dating websites out there, and why if you are thinking of online dating, you should give it a whirl:

1. Diversity: Although it is a Christian owned dating service, you aren’t pigeon-holed. What I mean is that you don’t have to have a one-size-fits-all faith.

You can come as you are.

2. Even as a new member, you get to enjoy the entire site: There isn’t any restrictions to new members except the inability to give out phone numbers. (This was not an issue for me as I had a one month rule to giving out my number. You can find more of my tips of online dating here)

3. You get one week free: Before you pay, you get to set up your profile and browse others profiles for absolutely free. And if you upload more than one photo of yourself on your profile, you get three more days free.

And at the time I signed up, free was in my budget. 😉

4. Troll blocking: Don’t think that just because you haven’t gone out to a bar or club, you’ll be able to avoid sleazy guys. With online dating, they can troll from the comfort of their one-room apartment in their mama’s basement. But don’t despair. If you run across a trolly sleaze, simply report them to an administrator and they will be blocked within a day.

I know that online dating can be pretty intimidating. But ChristianCafe makes the process simple and fun.

Good luck 😉



When Awkward Dating Profile Photos Turn into Happily Ever After….

They say a picture is worth a thousand words. 8 years ago last month I was perusing profiles on, a Christian online dating website. One particular profile picture stood out to me:


Now to be fair, there were two photos on his profile that were of his actual face, but the one of a cat drinking out of toilet, a look of no regret on it’s face, definitely piqued my interest and made me laugh so hard I had to  get to know him further. So I sent him a message:

“Hi, I enjoyed reading your profile and thought I’d drop you a line and say hello. Hope you have a great day!” (Ok, this isn’t verbatim what I wrote, but it’s close to what I could remember. I had thought I had this conversation saved, but alas, I did not 😦  )

Oh man, now I am forever grateful that he disregarded my awkward, pithy delivery and wrote me back. 😛

For the next month we wrote back and forth. I came to find out that the man who posted the funny picture of his cat shamelessly drinking out of the toilet on his profile page was also an amazing writer. With an even zanier, quick wit. He was kind, generous and really funny.

I was hooked. I’d even wake up at 6:00am on a SATURDAY to chat with him in real time.

6AM….ON A SATURDAY!! If that doesn’t say TRUE LOVE, I don’t know what does! 😛

And so our first date-in person-commenced a month later….which led to more dates.

Fast forward 5 years, including almost 3 long distance, and we stood up in fancy clothes, before God, and our friends and family and vowed to support and love each other under one roof till death parts us.

Almost 3 years in and I am forever grateful that I clicked on that profile picture.

So dear reader, if you are contemplating doing the online dating thing–I know, it can be pretty intimidating–set standards and keep them high, but also keep an open mind.

I promise you’ll be glad you did. 😉


Flying wedding

**Our favorite wedding photo appears courtesy of Ryan Miller and our personal archives


*Affiliate link for Christian Cafe used. All opinions are my own.


Benevolent Frogs, Angry Toads, and One Handsome Prince: Online Dating Tips

Last week I wrote about how to date with confidence. Today I wanted to kick this topic up a notch and discuss a method of dating that has become quite popular the last number of years. Online dating. I know a few things about this topic as I happened to meet my husband online. Through this experience I gained some insight into making your online dating experience more comfortable and safe with hopefully a successful outcome.

It was 2008 and I was living in a large city in the southern US. Although my city was large, my social circle for dating lacked one key ingredient: available men. Even my church was so tiny the men my age were either already dating someone, confirmed bachelors or gay. Not exactly the demographic where you can find a happily ever after.  At one point I realized if I didn’t do something drastic, the only way I was gonna meet someone was if the Fed Ex guy came to my door and randomly asked me out ala that scene in Legally Blonde. In that case I needed to seriously up my ‘bend and snap’ game 😉 . It was at this point that I contemplated online dating.

I had actually been toying with the idea of online dating about a year before this, as I had become heartbroken over a long time crush. I’m actually grateful about this now, as it was the push I needed to sign up online. So I booted up my computer, called my best friend and settled in writing my profile.

Which leads me to my first tip when online dating: Have fun writing your profile. Having your best friend help you write this becomes a bonding activity that you won’t soon forget. Plus having another person, that knows you well, can help you write a better, more honest profile of yourself.

After my profile was up I was ready to roll. Then it happened. My computer crashed. Yep. I was offline for about a week, delaying my quest for love. I do see this now as a test to see how serious I was. I could have just said, “welp, that’s a sign that this is a no-go”, but I tend to be a bit more persistent than that. So after I was able to go online again, my quest happily continued.

After corresponding with a few nice guys, in April I connected with one particular gentleman from a small town several hours away. He was cute, funny, and had a heart for Jesus. Ah, perfect. Except he was slightly older than my ideal age range and had tattoos. This leads me to tip #2: Don’t be so constrained about age or hung up that so and so is not necessarily your “type”. Be open to dating outside this boundary. 

Of course online dating is different from meeting face to face in a bar or in college, because you aren’t face to face at the beginning of your relationship. Due to this component, it’s necessary to implement some safety tips into your experience. For me, I talked to guys for a week before telling them my real name–we each had a screen name we created beforehand. This was so I could get to know them just a bit before they searched for my social media account. Tip #3: Create safety rules and stick to them-no matter what. All of the guys I talked with were ok with me not divulging my name till I was ready. The difficulties arose when the time came to set up face to face meetings. Some guys wanted to pick me up, but I was adamant that I arrive separately and we meet in a public place. I lost a few guys when they didn’t understand why I insisted on doing things this way. These guys are not frogs, they are toads. While you can’t avoid them online, when they finally reveal their toady bumps, feel no shame in kicking them to the curb. This can be frustrating, but think of it like this: for each guy you let go, you get one guy closer to your happily ever after. Another clear example of a toad comes via my blogger friend, rachelbeingchatty. You should check her out, she’s awesome. She wrote the following the other day on how to spot a toady serial dater; “You know you are with a serial dater when he reveals his heart tattoo with “your name here” in the middle.”

So, how can you figure out if someone you meet online is who they say they are? Our last tip (#4) addresses this. Ask questions. Several times. Yes, ask the same questions over and over again to make sure the answers are the same. When having a conversation about family, ask him again how many siblings he has and where he falls in the lineup. When talking about work, ask again where he works and what he does. If any of these answers are different from what they were before, this is a red flag that needs to be addressed.

Online dating can be fun and fulfilling when you follow a few tips to stay safe, while expanding your social circle. Tomorrow I’ll tell the story of how I met my handsome prince and how we were able to make it work…..long distance.

Remember you are never alone. 🙂