Dropped Luggage and a Race Against Time…..

So a couple of things before we get into our topic of the day:

1. Yes, I was able to get Riley off my back to continue blogging my thoughts on random things.

2. That snow that was predicted? Yeah, it came. And today it was back to warm-ish weather. Go figure.

Now, on to our topic of the day……..

I got my period yesterday. Aunt Flo had been circling the area for about a week and finally dropped her luggage while I was enjoying lunch with friends at Panera Bread.

Now, I don’t say this to overshare or for “shock value.” (OK, actually that’s not **completely** true, I mean….admit it…you read those words and if you didn’t click off the page right away, you wanted to keep reading 😉 #Weirdo ). This random fact is actually an important piece of information to better understand my story today.

The free clinic in town was having a Woman’s Health day on Saturday and offering free Pap smears. Because I figured it was time for me to have an exam on my lady bits, I went.

Now for most women, a Pap smear isn’t a fun day at the beach, but a necessary evil to keep yourself healthy. And I had grown up with the notion that I needed one once a year.

Apparently that was a lie.

According to new standards set by people who were in school longer than I was, guidelines for Pap smears have changed. In short, **women who are aged 21-29 should have a Pap smear every 3 years. Those 30 and over should have one every 5 years, ending at age 65. However, if you change sexual partners in a year or have a history of cervical cancer, it’s recommended you still have a yearly exam.

(Sidenote: I really feel like every woman should have been informed about this change in guidelines in some way. Possibly through the mail. I mean, we all get enough junk mail, so it’s not like they don’t know where we live. 😛 )

The other reason why I would have loved to have this piece of information before I went into my appointment was because I have a bit of anxiety when I anticipate having a Pap smear. To the point where I NEED TO have someone hold my hand during the entire procedure. And my hand-holder of choice, Chad, had to work and couldn’t be there.

So I found out about this Woman’s Health Day at the free clinic more than a month ago so I’ve been anticipating and worrying and fretting about this appointment for a Pap smear for literally WEEKS in advance of the actual event.

WEEKS!

Also, when I saw the date of the Woman’s Health Event, my stomach dropped. Why? Because I realized that was the day my period was due. Aunt Flo is so regular that I can predict her arrival with a high degree of accuracy. Except this month I was completely wrecked with worry. Especially all this week I was on edge because the last thing I wanted was to get my period and not be able to get a Pap.

And every day I felt like it was a race against time. Each day that passed without Aunt Flo’s ominous knocking on my uterus was one day closer to her arrival, and the less likely that I’d be able to get my lady bits checked for free.

There is really nothing like going into the Dr.’s office, anticipating a procedure you’ve been anxious about all week, then being told you don’t need that procedure and almost making them do it anyway because DARN IT you’ve been worried about it all WEEK!! (Then realizing that’s a really dumb line of thinking, you leave the office before they can change their minds, but not until after you get your hands on the free goody bag they are handing out to all participants.*)

So why even write about such a personal topic? Well, several reasons: 1. I had NO idea the Pap smear guidelines had changed and I figured if I didn’t know, there are others that didn’t know either. 2. Having anxiety over Pap smears makes these new guidelines all the more important because when you live with anxiety, the more stressful activities you can put off the better. 3. In writing about this topic, I am helping to take away the stigma that we can’t openly discuss intimate health issues. It is NOT dirty or shameful or wrong. Talking about it saves lives.

And you are never alone!

Cheers!

*So I know what you are thinking, “The first thing in a Woman’s Health Day goody bag would be chocolate.” Yeah. You’d be wrong. But the things inside were just as useful: hand sanitizer, a comb, feminine hygiene products, razors and a clinic pamphlet.

**Like anything else, these are just general guidelines. Every person and situation is different. If you have any doubts, talk to your doctor before putting off a Pap smear.

LAFF: Holy Shiatsu!…….

This weather has been mighty strange lately. This week it hit 60 degrees. In February. In winter. Tomorrow it is supposed to snow.

This kind of weather can be brutal on your joints when you reach a certain age. Like 37. So I could really use a massage. But unfortunately, a massage isn’t in the budget this week. So I had to think outside the box.

And outside that box was Riley. Our youngest cat. In all his farty, water bowl dumping glory.

Things started out well, he jumped on my back and walked up and down my sore muscles. Melting away the pain. Then, things uh, took a turn. And now I need a bit of advice……

Does anybody know how to get an ambivalent, farty cat off your back??

If I can figure this out, I’ll blog again on Monday. Wish me luck! 😛

Cheers!

Monday Forecast: 100% Chance of Puddles…….In The Kitchen…..

While gathering up clothes to do laundry yesterday, I crossed into the kitchen and was met with a small lake, growing steadily larger and flowing from the bottom of the cat’s water bowl.

At this point I observe Riley-our 10-month old tiger cat, approach the growing lake on the other side from me. After cautiously sticking his paw into the water and jumping back he looks at me like, “Yeah. Um, that’s gonna have to be cleaned up. You might want to get on that.”

The problem? The lake on the kitchen floor was created by the same tiger kitty now worried about the lake on the floor. And unable unwilling to step around it to get to his food bowl.

Good thing I was about to do laundry because I was about to add to it. 😛

It seems we have an issue with Riley’s water bowl. He likes to stick his paw in it and spill the water on the floor. Then whine that there is water on the floor.

As my mom likes to say, “He’s like a toddler who doesn’t speak English.”

But he’s also super talented. He can open cereal boxes and eat the cereal, loves to play fetch and peek-a-boo when the mood strikes, and is currently lounging in his favorite box while eating the walls of the box. (Sidenote: Carboard is OK for cats to eat, right? Eh, we’ll find out soon I guess 😛  )

If only he’d learn how to use the mop!

Sometimes wearing a box on your head as a hat makes you feel powerful. 😀

PS: An hour after this blog was published I learned something new. Riley doesn’t just smash his paw into the water to splash it out, I just observed him putting the side of the bowl BETWEEN HIS TEETH and tipping it over ever so slightly. :-O #LordHaveMercy

LAFF: Where Lulabelle Anticipates Oreo’s Next Flavors…….

Today I opened my Facebook feed and discovered Oreo has decided to add to their many flavors. Today they introduced PEEPS Oreos. (**And yes I will be doing a review as soon as I can get my hands on them.)

So today I thought I’d try to anticipate the next new flavors Oreo will come out with. And I’m dragging you along for the journey. You’re welcome!

Banana: Because they haven’t come out with this one yet and I believe this is forthcoming. Also I am obsessed with banana flavoring. I blame my *mom.

Kale: It’s trendy. It’s healthy. It’s green and it helps you poop. Now available in cookie form. Huzzah!

Tutti-Frutti: This one will use a traditional chocolate cookie and the cream will have the multi-colored look of a glittery galaxy.

Toothpaste: Taking a nod from Bean-Boozled, this flavor is not unlike the mint flavor already on the market, but will carry the extra benefits of freshening your breath and preventing cavities. #DentistEndorsed

PEZ: This unidentifiable fruity flavor selection will have an extra element of fun. Squeeze the cookie and a tiny square of cream will shoot out the side and into your mouth.

Bacon: This one probably won’t go over well. How do I know? Because for my birthday party this year (that I forgot to blog), we had a gourmet Smore’s party and bacon was one ingredient that I was totally excited to try. Unfortunately, the bacon totally over powered the cookie and there was no balance at all.

Much like Congress after this last election.

Carrot Cake: Are you a traditional bride, but want to save on the cost of wedding cake? Look no further! These use the cinnamon Oreo as opposed to the Golden and have a cream cheese carroty filling. (And after writing that description, I kinda want this to become a thing.)

Ghost Pepper: Another trendy food that has made the rounds on the internet in the form of challenges. The twist in this flavor is that the pepper is in the chocolate cookie and the heat is **kinda** dampened by the cream on the inside. This one will more than likely come with a warning and will not be available for purchase if you are under 18.

Cheers!

*When I was a kid and was hungry, my mom would recite a litany of available foods in the house. The first thing on the list was always bananas. We ALWAYS had them. Years later I found out my mom HATES bananas but eats them daily because they are good for you. #StubbornButHealthy

**March 8, 2017–So I just discovered the PEEPS flavor of Oreo uses the Golden oreo, so unfortunately due to my crazy allergy, I’ll not be able to do this one.

Last Minute Budget Friendly Valentines Day Gift: Lulabelle Reviews Chocolate Strawberry Oreos…..

I’m uploading this as close to noon as I can so that perhaps you can pick these up on your lunch break. 😉

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!! The following review is for those who are in need of a Valentines day gift that won’t break the bank. And if you haven’t gotten a gift yet, have no fear, I haven’t gotten Chad’s gift yet (but in my defense his schedule is such that we aren’t celebrating till tomorrow anyway 😉 ). 

This review was done eating only 5 cookies…..That’s got to be a record somewhere. Let me know where I can pick up my hard won trophy. 😛

Appearance: Chocolate cookie with chocolate filling and a tiny bit of strawberry filling.

Smell: Like Neapolitan ice cream, the chocolate and strawberry parts.

Taste: Like a thinner version of chocolate and strawberry Neapolitan ice cream. It’s like the ice cream flavor but in cookie form.

Delicious. Very interesting that the flavor of strawberry can be tasted in every bite but the strawberry cream is only in the center of the bottom cookie. I’d almost rather have these then actual chocolate covered strawberries, but my primary physician would probably be happier if I was eating real strawberries. 😛

Hope you all have a fantastic day! And if you don’t have a special someone, get these anyway and treat yourself. Besides, calories don’t count on Valentines Day, right 😉 ♥♥

You’re right, this isn’t a picture of an Oreo package. It’s me. In a shower cap. Eating a giant Reeses. #Clickbait #You’reWelcome

FTC Disclosure: This post is not sponsored. All products were purchased by me.

Lulabelle Eats Asia! Part 3:Yeo’s Nuoc Trai Vai (Lychee Drink) (Singapore)

Lychee is gaining popularity in the states and when Chad brought this home to try, I was excited. So let’s get into it…….

Carbonated-eh sort of. After an initial carbonation gas off when you open the can, there aren’t any distinguishing bubbliness so its like flat soda(Granted I drank this straight out of the can and didn’t pour it into a glass. But usually carbonated drinks have an acid-y quality to them as they go down your throat. Probably a good thing that I don’t drink them much anymore. 😛 )

Smell: Like perfume-y bug repellent. Weird explanation but that’s the only thing I can think of to describe what this smells like.
Taste: perfume-y and it tastes like the smell of bug repellent, but not normal bug repellent, but the frou frou DEET free type. I guess this is what lychee fruit tastes like, but I’ve never had lychee, so this is all new. After the initial taste of perfume-y bug repellent, it finishes off with a touch of spice at the back of your throat. The after taste is similar to white grapes.

I do apologize for the awkward floating hand angle, but I tried to get just the can and there was a terrible glare.

FTC Disclosure: This post is not sponsored. Product was bought by me.

LAFF On Saturday: I SCreamed, “Voter Fraud!!”………

With all the talk about voter fraud and illegal voting floating around lately, I decided it would be a good idea to be more vigilant. So, in the spirit of “see something, say something,” today I wanted to expose a fraudulent vote that I happened to find. #Disgraceful 😛 

Monday Life Hacks Episode 2……

The smoke detector in our living room is on the way out. Most obviously distraught over the Falcon’s loss yesterday in the Super Bowl, our smoke detector has been squawking all day like a large mouse that’s gotten caught in a trap but is still alive.

I know, it’s horrifying. And I’m alone at the moment and can’t change the battery.

But don’t worry, guys. I was able to DIY a solution. Feel free to use this method and pass it along to others in need……

Happy Monday! 😀

LAFF On Sunday: The One Where Lulabelle Rednecks an Expensive Colon Cleanse……..****

Colon cleanses. They are a big thing in Hollywood (at least they were two years ago) and apparently it cleans you out and helps you feel less bloated and gross and gives you a tinier waist.

But they are SO expensive. What’s a girl to do? (Besides giving up on impossible Hollywood beauty standards and embracing your curves 😉 ). Wonder no further. I just figured out a way to get that same cleansed feeling without spending lots of cash.

Eh, sort of. Read on……

1. Go to Subway (or any sandwich shop of your choice) and order a sandwich. I feel like any variety will do as long as it has meat and flat bread.

2. Take the sandwich home, put it in the fridge and forget about it for about 5 days.

3. After taking it out of the fridge after 5 days, you’ll notice a spongy texture to the flat bread. Eat about half of the leftover sandwich. Discard the rest.

4. Wait about 12-18 hours (in which time you’ve also consumed a pizza with broccoli and cauliflower as toppings) and you’ll begin to feel the effects of the digested sandwich (spurred on by the broccoli and cauliflower pizza) run right through you. Staying near a bathroom is critical.

Clear your schedule. You’re gonna be toilet-bound for a while. You might want to download Scrabble or Candy Crush on your smart phone to play while you wait. Also, expect to have cramping and gas. But think of the end goal…….

When it’s all over your colon will be wiped squeaky clean and your jeans may fit slightly better.

It’s a win-win! 😛

***Yeah, It was food poisoning. Don’t try this at home. At the time of this writing I am fully recovered and enjoying Chocolate covered Strawberry Oreos which I shall review soon. 🙂

The photo above of a ferret pooting a rainbow was made by me for a friend’s birthday. I thought I would share it here to make you smile. 😉