LAFF: Promises Are Promises…….

“But let me say that if they name the potential future king of England after a member of a British boy band, I will eat my shoe.”

I wrote those words above 4 days ago when I was attempting to predict the name of The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge’s 3rd child’s name. And at the time I thought the odds of me having to actually eat my shoe was so remote, I’d see the Cubs win the World Series again before that happened.

So when Kensington Palace announced the name today, my stomach dropped. Of all the royal sounding names they had to choose from, they had to pick Louis, which is a name of a member of One Direction. Although in their defense my promise was hinged on HRH being named Zayn, I knew that if Louis was picked and I didn’t eat my shoe, I was sure at least one of my subscribers would never let me live it down. (Not singling any one person out, I just know my friends 😉 ) 

Because I would have done the same thing if I were them.

Because I’m kind of a jerk. 😛

So, because promises are promises, I will now eat my shoe.

And as an added bonus, I’ll post the DIY how-to below. Enjoy!! (What, you thought I’d eat my ACTUAL shoe? Although that would have probably given me more views, our insurance isn’t zoned for shoe-eating.) #ThanksObama/Trump/WhoeverIsInChargeOfThatStuff 

Lulabelle’s Loophole Heels For When You Lose A Bet And Need To Eat Your Shoe:

You’ll need:

1 Large Cupcake-baked
1 Pepperidge Farm Mint Milano Cookie
1 Pepperidge Farm Pirouette Cookie
Frosting and various cookie decorations

To Assemble: 

Frost top of the cupcake and place one end of the Milano cookie, at an angle, through the top of the cupcake to look like the middle of the high-heeled shoe. 

Place a dollop of frosting on the bottom of the Milano cookie that is sticking up from the cupcake. Take the Pirouette cookie and using a knife, cut the cookie in 1/4ths, at an angle, depending on how high you want your heel, and attach it to the bottom of the Milano cookie. 

Decorate how you wish and enjoy! 🙂 

The One Where Lulabelle Predicts The Newest Royal Baby’s Name…….

**The following blog is meant to be lighthearted and is not to be taken seriously. I love all things British and even throw in extra letters in words like honour and parlour when I want to feel fancy and sophisticated.

God save the Queen!**

A bright blue package was delivered yesterday by stork to a hospital in London to the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, HRH William, and Catherine. The baby, weighing in at 8 lbs, 7 oz is for the moment, unnamed.

Which leads this writer to fantasize about what the future heir to the throne could be christened. I think the names on my list might be a bit different from the royal list.

1. Neville (By the way, there are going to be several Harry Potter themed names on this list because, yeah. 😛 ): Neville is a name that is both sweet and of strong character. Neville is loyal and kind.

2. Roy: Because why not?? It’s a good, solid name that was fine enough for commoner grandpas. I think it needs to make the royal rounds.

3. Lucius-Oh sorry, wrong list. 😛

4. Harry-doubtful this will make the cut as it’s already in the family, but again, it is strong, loyal and another Harry Potter reference.

5. Ludwig: Classy and would pay homage to his great grandfather’s roots.

6. Heathcliff: It’s never been used, has a posh ring to it and is a name that can be worn well. Bonus points if he ends up dressing in 18th-century clothing and living on creepy moors in Yorkshire.

7. Fredrick: This is an actual contender and I’d be very happy if they went with this one. 

8. Zayn: This one has a modern, edgy flair and as William and Kate have worked to modernize the monarchy, this one almost makes sense. But let me say that if they name the potential future king of England after a member of a British boy band, I will eat my shoe. 

9. Robert: Although Prince Bob doesn’t have that certain je ne sais quoi as other royal names, it only has one syllable and is easily spelled. 

10. Eric-This one is a bit more complicated. On the one hand he’ll probably be handsome and sweet, but on the other hand, he could be drawn to the sea in search of a mermaid. 

The One Where Lulabelle Reviews the Most Popular Snack Among Jr. High Kids……..Taki’s Hot Chili Pepper and Lime Tortilla Chips………

Before we begin, a disclaimer: I do not endorse eating overly spicy food if you happen to have severe acid reflux issues. Like with anything, if you think this will be too hot, don’t eat it. 🙂

I think I’m going to start a new series on my page where I eat trendy food from now OR I eat trendy food from my childhood (that my parents never bought because they preferred to feed us real food from the ground and trees and stuff) and see if I like it.

The latter would probably take some effort in terms of procurement, but I think the results would be worth it. I kind of already started this accidentally last year when I was on the road with Chad and we stopped at a gas station to get a snack. I got a Lunchable. It was the turkey one. Ironically it tasted like it had been expired about two years but was still on the shelf for purchase.

But I’m still alive so I guess no harm was done. Probably.

Today I’m going to become one of the cool kids, channel my inner middle schooler, and try the uber-popular spicy snack, Takis.

As an added bonus (because of boredom), I’ve also done my makeup today to resemble the Taki’s packaging. You’re welcome. (OK, this was done last night at 11:30, after which I washed my face thoroughly and went to bed 😛 ).

Now let’s get on with the review……

Smell: Like regular nacho’s. Not all that spectacular. With a tiny aroma of lime.

I don’t feel popular yet.

Texture: Dry, like a rough feeling blanket dipped in Tabasco sauce and placed on your tongue.  I know this description is weirdly specific, but if you don’t believe me, get you a bath towel, put some hot sauce on it, and then place the towel on your tongue. Then compare it to the Taki’s.

Then subscribe to my blog because at that point you know I don’t lie or exaggerate. Much. 😉

Flavor: Hot. Then salty and then a little limey. Not very cheesy, but mostly hot. My tongue is starting to feel assaulted. I might die before I make it through the bag. We are out of milk. Pray for me.

Appearance: Like regular Doritos but redder and rolled up into a long tube-y shape. Except for this one chip that decided to stay a triangle chip shape instead of conforming to the rest of the bag and rolling up into a tube-y shape.

This chip is my spirit animal/food/whatever.

The entire 4 oz packaging has 4 servings with each serving packing in 140 calories. Taki’s also come in two other flavors; Crunchy Fajita and Nitro.