I found it last week. A “weird anomaly” in an “awkward area.” And problem #1 was that Chad was not home when I found this so I couldn’t use his eyes to inspect it further.
So I had to MacGyver a solution……
Here I was, a 37-year old woman, sitting on my bed in the dark, one leg over my head and my old a** phone (seriously, they don’t even manufacture the Razr anymore 😛 ) propped up against a bundle of sheets, shining the screen light onto my “awkward area,” trying to get a better look.
Yeah. This didn’t work. And I almost fell off the bed. Doing stretchy things after a certain age can be tricky business.
So I had to wait till Chad came home from work to get some reassurance that I wasn’t growing a third nipple a bit further south than it belonged. So again this found me laid on the bed, now BOTH legs above my head as Chad assessed “the growth” with a look of serious contemplation on his face. He couldn’t tell me exactly what it was either.
So we decided to make a Dr.’s appointment to get it checked out. We were able to get in later that day. Which never happens so I took that as a good sign. When we arrived at the Dr.’s office, we were called on right away–NO waiting room time.
This also has never happened. And I took that as a good sign.
As I wheeled into the room, I was asked to disrobe from the waist down and lie down on the table, with only a thin, papery drape covering my lower half.
Now, since we were put into the exam room right away, I figured it wouldn’t take long to be seen. Which was great because as soon as I dropped trough and laid down on the table, I suddenly had to pee. But I figured by the time I sat up, dressed and left the room, the doctor would have arrived to examine “my growth” and I didn’t want to keep him waiting
So I just laid there…..And as the minutes ticked by without the doctor, I realized I had been overly cocky in thinking my bladder would hold.
It didn’t. And at that point there wasn’t anything I could do but just lie there. With a still unknown, weird anomoly on my uh,”area.” And now I was lyin’ in bladder juice under a paper drape.
After a few more minutes of waiting, Chad went to get the nurse to come back and help me clean up. After I was freshy fresh, I laid back down and waited.
Yep, you’re right, I should have gotten dressed and emptied my bladder, but I thought I had at least taken the pressure off and I could wait until after the exam.
And I was **almost ** right.
Midway through the exam, my bladder awoke from its nap and trickled forth like the last bits of juice found at the bottom of a juice box. I’m just glad our doctor is a seasoned pro and was able to continue the exam.
Oh and that “weird anomaly”? A simple, benign skin tag.
How it got on my bum I have no idea.
PS: Oh, and after we got home from the Dr.’s I was getting out of the car and slipped and fell in a puddle. In the rain. Yeah. It was a long day. 😛