Bloggertunities: A Blogger’s Sincere Apology…….

I’ve been blogging for over two years and in that time I’ve learned that sometimes there are consequences for writing about certain things. You get criticism and you just have to take it, let it roll off your back and move on with your life.

But sometimes those consequences are farther reaching than you had intended and it really makes you think about the content  you put out. Two years ago I wrote a blog that, looking back on it now, I regret. I threw shade at a situation that I shouldn’t have and the parties involved have now read that blog, reached out to me and made it clear that it’s up to me to make amends. So here it goes……….

Dear fruit flies:

I’m sorry I wrote you that public break-up letter two years ago. Now, I’m only linking that original post with this one as a point of reference for my subscribers and not to further drag you down. I know now that I should have taken down the blog and issued this apology. They say that hindsight is 20/20 and if I had known we’d go through what we’ve gone through in the last 4 days because of what I wrote 2 years ago, I never would have posted that blog.

I know now that if I hadn’t written that last blog:

1. You wouldn’t have piled onto our litter boxes, causing our oldest cat to decide she doesn’t want to use the litter box, because the bedroom carpet does just fine.

It doesn’t.

2. I would have WAY less of an audience when I pee.

3. We wouldn’t have to replace our toothbrushes EVERY. TIME. WE. BRUSH. (Not because fruit-flies harbor any sort of disease or anything when they land on our toothbrushes, we are just that paranoid.)*

4. I wouldn’t have had fruit-flies buzzing around my face and almost getting stuck in my white tea-citrus peel-off mask (I was feeling fancy and they had $1 samples at Walmart.)

5. I wouldn’t have had a fruit fly take up residence in my left ear and refuse to leave. I’m hoping it will at least start paying rent. Stay tuned.

6. I wouldn’t be able to watch Riley dance and prance around playing with fruit flies that aren’t visible to the naked eye when they are flying around the room. (Ok, to be honest, this one is pretty entertaining to watch.)

7. We would be able to eat a meal in a reasonable time frame instead of taking 5 times longer because of waving off fruit flies. But on the other hand I guess this does aid in digestion so, thanks?

8. Chad wouldn’t have developed a permanent speech impediment (actually this one is probably more his fault because as a joke he likes to switch the first letters of words to the end of the word and say it wrong and he’s done it for so long that some words are now permanently backwards. 😛 )

Oh screw it! You know what? I’m NOT sorry, can’t live this way anymore and next yearstarting on June 1st, I’m pouring bleach and boiling hot water down ALL our drains every two weeks. In other words……

“GET OFF MY LAWN!!”

*Ok, we don’t actually replace them every time, we just think about it. A LOT.

LAFF On Wednesday: Pore-Pourri……..

I discovered something new several nights ago that has opened up a whole new world to me and I’m SO excited about it.

Guys, did you know that charcoal pore strips on your nose can get out literally *YEARS of build-up (that is if you’ve never used one before and just wash your face normally)?

Yeah. I’m officially obsessed.

To the point where after last night’s success, I focused on another area of my face that I wish was a bit smoother and hair free……my upper lip mustache.

Now if you didn’t know, a pore strip is like an industrial strength Band-Aid that you apply to your nose and leave on for 10-15 minutes and peel away. In that time it sucks out blackheads, dirt and impurities to give you a smoother, cleaner appearance. If you have particularly oily skin and haven’t used one in a while, you may end up losing weight in the process.

Seriously. 😉

So back to my thought process. The pore strip worked SO well on my nose I decided to give it a whirl on my upper lip mustache.

And if you are a longtime reader of mine you know why I’m blogging the experience…..

It didn’t go well. 😛

Now in the defense of the knock-off Biore brand of pore strip in question, the strip never claims to remove unwanted hair. I just assumed that if it managed to successfully grab out gunk from deep within your pore, taking out unwanted hair wouldn’t be that much of a stretch. I mean, since it’s already down by the root of the hair anyway it might as well grab it and yank it out on the way back up the pore.

Not doing so is kinda irresponsible if you really think about it.

So what exactly happened? Well, take a look:

lulabelle pore strip fail

Now I know you can’t see it in the picture above, but the pore strip DID NOT remove any of my mustache hair but instead DYED. IT. BLACK.

Now I like Charlie Chaplin as much as the next guy, but I don’t necessarily want to look like him. My general beauty routine is to make my mustache not as visible. I never try to highlight it. But maybe this could be a new trend. Women accentuating their mustache.

I suppose if men have started wearing man buns and rompers in pastel colors (you do you, boo) women can stop minimizing their mustache hair. Maybe the next big thing will be unicorn mustache hair where the person dyes their upper lip hair pastel colors and throws some glitter on it for good measure.

Now that’s a trend I could get behind. 😛

*Ok, so technically the box says the strip only takes out a few weeks of gunk, but I’ve never done it before so I’m SURE it took out WAY more than the package described. Seriously, you can’t convince me otherwise.

**Disclaimer–Don’t try this at home, kids. The back of the box says to not use on anything other than your nose and we all know how I tend to test “directions” and throw them out the window. That is how the “Lulabelle Cooks Without a Net” series got started. I just wanted to throw that out there in case someone tries this and it doesn’t go well and they end up trying to **sue me for planting bad life choice ideas into their heads.

**At least wait until my blog has generated SOME income. 😛

****PS: When using a pore strip on your nose, make sure you leave it on at least 10 minutes until it dries. Otherwise, this could happen. This PSA has not been sponsored. I just wanted to perform a public service. Your welcome. 😀 (Also do this when you are near a working clock 😉 )

The Answer and My List……

Tonight I watched a birth vlog of a Youtuber that I follow. And I’m not gonna lie. I had a twinge of jealousy.

Jealousy over the fact that I’ll never know what it is like to stare into the eyes of someone who has Chad’s and my DNA.

Jealous that Chad and I won’t have little “us’s” running around.

And then I remembered that, unlike many infertile couples for whom adoption isn’t an option, we have been given a gift.

A few months ago God spoke to us and actually told us why He chose us to remain childless.

We were given an answer.

And even to this day I cherish that. But I am not sure how to feel about it because I know SO many couples and women who long to become parents to humans, and for whatever reason it never happens.

And they never discover the why.

And so I was torn about whether or not I should even write this. Because the last thing I want to do is rub salt on other’s wounds that we have an answer and they don’t.

But in the spirit of encouraging others that there is light after the darkness of childlessness, I am sharing our story of getting an answer.

Our answer was two-fold.

Firstly, the Lord laid it upon our hearts to release our time, finances, and other resources to bless those around us who need help. To ease their burdens.

And finally He asked me to make a list of parents, specifically those who are single. Every day I am to go over each name and pray for them. Recognizing that spiritual support is an integral part of parenting and the more prayer a parent can get the better.

So that is the story of our answer. And I hope our story gave you hope and encouragement.

Cheers!

LAFF: Snippets of Life……

It’s been what, a month since I’ve blogged? Ah, so much has happened on Walton’s mountain (except our last name isn’t Walton, I just miss that show 😉 ). Let me just give you a few snapshots of what’s been going down. I’ll probably flesh some of these out in future blogs…..if I ever get enough time to get around to it. 😉

  1. Riley experienced his first crush. Followed by his first heartbreak.
  2. I increased my working hours per day and just completed my first 30-hr a week work week ever. This is probably the biggest reason why I haven’t blogged in about a month.
  3. Our 1 yr-old niece (best friends’ baby) said Chad’s name for the first time this week. The fact that she kept saying it as she stuck her finger in her nose was not at all coincidental. 😀 We have therefore Christened him Uncle Booger.
  4. Said niece also said my name. Without mining for nose gold.  (This part did disappoint me ever so slightly. 😛 )
  5. I woke up this evening with a GIANT pimple on my forehead. Stay tuned to see if it turns into a unicorn horn. #FingersCrossed And finally……
  6. Due to stress and the genetic lottery I won 37 years ago, It seems I have been rendered lactose intolerant. #YayBiology 😛 #Sarcasm #DairyWasMyFreakinLife

So that is what life has been like the last month. Write a comment below about what you think will happen to us in the next month. 😀

Cheers!

Why I’m Glad HUD Secretary Carson Got Stuck in an Elevator…….

This afternoon I read an account of Secretary of HUD Dr. Ben Carson becoming stuck in an elevator in the midst of his “listening tour” of affordable housing across America.

And I have to say, I’m more than glad it happened.

No, not because I don’t agree with some of his policies or political beliefs. I respect Dr. Carson so much as an uber-talented neurosurgeon and his story of growing up poor in the projects and being raised by a single mother to rise to where he is today is truly inspirational.

So why am I glad for the misfortune of someone I respect?  Because it shows how low-income housing has taken a back seat to quality. As if it doesn’t matter that the elevator doesn’t work because they are poor people anyway so why fix it?

This is the same attitude to the one found in my old HUD building where I lived for almost 3 years before my husband and I were married. The elevator was so old and seldom worked that one summer the leasing office asked us not to use it because it was overheating from use……for a building full of elderly and disabled persons this was not acceptable.

Do you know what ended up happening? When the building was bought for local college student housing the elevator, deemed not fixable before, mysteriously was fixed and the ENTIRE inside of the building was gutted and renovated for the new tenants.

Dear Dr. Carson, you have now been reminded how the other side lives on a daily basis. Here is your opportunity to fix it. To give low-income housing the dignity and care its residents deserve.

Please take it.

Funky Fresh……..

Wednesday. The day that falls in the middle of the week. That day where we can finally see Friday and a much-needed day or two of rest.

You know what Wednesday also is?

That day of the week where you are so stressed and tired that you *almost* grab that can of dry shampoo for brown hair instead of that same sized can of athlete’s foot spray for your feet.

Uh, at least I could have passed it off as an errant spray tan??

 😀

Photo on 2017-04-05 at 19.23

This almost went where it wasn’t supposed to. Thankfully this week is almost over, until we get to do it all over again. 😛

**This blog post is not sponsored by Batiste, but I’d recommend this particular dry shampoo in a heartbeat.

 

LAFF On Sunday: From A to B: The Art of DJ’ing (And Why I’m Not One…..)

Blogger’s note: The regularly scheduled post for today on the subject of April the Pregnant Giraffe has been postponed till next week because it was accidentally eaten by WordPress and it won’t spit it back up for me. #Rude!

I only hope she can hang on one more week! 😛


When I was in high school I decided I wanted to be a radio DJ. I was obsessed with listening to the radio (this was before social media and we needed something to do :-P) and my mom and I would listen to the radio every morning on the way to school.

I loved listening to the morning DJ’s and thought that would be a fun job. (Excluding the fact that at that time I was NOT a morning person and still am not. But at that point I figured I’d be more of a morning person when I became an adult.)

(I’m still waiting…..)

So I was excited to take a radio class in college. This class taught us about the history of radio and how to use all the equipment in the studio. As a bonus, each student had their own radio show block on the campus wide radio frequency.

This was the most exciting part for me. My radio DJ’ing dreams were about to come true and I planned to CRUSH IT!!

For the next few months I ran a 30-minute radio show once a week and LOVED it. Each week I became more confident in my DJ’ing abilities and more comfortable with the equipment.

The semester wore on and I continued my show.

One day after I returned to my on campus apartment after doing my show, I found a message on the whiteboard on my front door. It said the following:

“Listened to your show tonight. Great music, but I never heard you talk.”

Well, crap on a cracker, that’s not good!

Why?

Because my radio show was a mix of music with TALKING. I’d give you fun interesting facts about the world, and even held a campus wide trivia contest one night……which no one ever won because, well, apparently I suck at radio-ing.

So how in the world did I go months and months doing my show without realizing no one could hear me?? Simply this…….

I KEPT HITTING THE WRONG FREAKIN’BUTTON!!

Let me explain. At the time I was in college we weren’t entirely digital yet and had to use an old-school board to get our shows to air. The board came with two important buttons, one marked A, the other marked B.

Now we had learned what each button did, but I guess this information squeezed out of my brain when it came time to actually apply what I had apparently learned.

In my brain it went like this: Push A to start your show and B to end it. Because, you know, that’s the order they are in the alphabet so clearly this makes sense. Right?

WRONG-O!!

In reality, the A button stood for “Audition” or “push this button when you want to hear what you sound like in studio but no one else can hear it.” B meant “Broadcast” or “push this button if you want to allow people outside the studio to hear you!!”

Oops!

So that, dear readers, is why I am not a radio DJ and am instead a blogger.

Fewer buttons to push and not as much risk for public humiliation.

Or something. 😛

Cheers!