LAFF: Sibling Rivalry

Last week I woke up with Phoebe our oldest cat, standing on my stomach, staring into my soul.

She never blinks.

It’s creepy.

But whenever she comes over and stands on my lap or stomach, it means she needs something. But she had food, water and a clean litter box, so I was confused. And I had just woken up and hadn’t yet had coffee, so I was REALLY confused.

Until I began to hear scratching coming from our office door. Our closed office door. Then I realized what had happened. See, a few weeks ago Riley taught himself a new trick. He taught himself how to close the office door.

From the inside.

When he’s on the wrong side of the door to be able to do anything about it.

Then he scratches at the door until you come to rescue him. Sometimes when you go to open the door too soon after he gets in there, he’ll push against the door and swipe his paws underneath the door rapidly while meowing excitedly.

This time he must have been in there for a while because as soon as I opened the door he paused for a moment, shook his head and swiftly exited the scene. 

Yeah, didn’t even thank me. 😛 

The thing that warmed my heart about this whole episode was that Phoebe had come to me to let me know that her brother needed help. Even though Riley likes to jump on her and picks fights with her all the time, at the end of the day, she was worried about him. 

Or she was just annoyed by the sound of him scratching at the door. She’s a cat, it’s hard to tell. 😉 

Riley also tells us when he is worried about Phoebe. Awhile back we had to stay the night at a motel and Phoebe HATES riding in the car. As soon as she was in the room, she went and hid under the bed. Riley began to meow and run back and forth between us and her hiding spot. Like he was telling us where she was so we could get her out. 

I’m so glad they really love each other deep down inside. Despite the photographic evidence below. 😛 

Phoebe and Riley on Bed _LI

One of my favorite photos of our fur-babies. And I know what you are thinking, “Awww! That’s so sweet that you let a kindergartener caption your photo!”

Yeah, that’s all me.
Took me 45 minutes.
Thanks Windows 10! 😛 😀 

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LAFF: Holy Shiatsu!…….

This weather has been mighty strange lately. This week it hit 60 degrees. In February. In winter. Tomorrow it is supposed to snow.

This kind of weather can be brutal on your joints when you reach a certain age. Like 37. So I could really use a massage. But unfortunately, a massage isn’t in the budget this week. So I had to think outside the box.

And outside that box was Riley. Our youngest cat. In all his farty, water bowl dumping glory.

Things started out well, he jumped on my back and walked up and down my sore muscles. Melting away the pain. Then, things uh, took a turn. And now I need a bit of advice……

Does anybody know how to get an ambivalent, farty cat off your back??

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If I can figure this out, I’ll blog again on Monday. Wish me luck! 😛

Cheers!

The One Where Lulabelle Tells You Actual Things She Said Today…….

Before we get into the topic of the day, let me do one item of housekeeping. I got this question the other day on Facebook and I wanted to address it here.

Question: “Do you know that it appears to be snowing on your blog??”
Answers: “Yes. Yes I do. It’s a feature that was rolled out last year that you could enable. It makes snow appear on your blog through the entire month of December.

I have no idea how to turn it off. 😀

So that clears that up. On to today’s blog…..Please note that some of these things were said in the middle of writing this blog for the sole purpose of writing them here and not making me out to be a liar (It’s close to Christmas and I wanna stay on the nice list 😉 ), but are still within the realm of likely to happen. 😛

So our life got exponentially more entertaining in May when we adopted Riley Bean the kitten into our family. He’s cute, cuddly and we learn new things he can do every day. One of which is annoying our other cat, his sister. Basically being an annoying little brother.

Here is just a sampling of what went down today:

1. “Stop eating that!” (To be fair, I say this every day. Every. Freakin’. Day. 😛 )

2. “Well of course she body slammed you, bro. You woke her up when you used her as a ladder to get to the top of the couch.” As I was saying this I simultaneously swelled with pride that Phoebe got in a couple good smacks to Riley’s head.

3. “I understand you found a bug on the wall next to mommy’s side of the bed, but climbing onto my face to get a better view while I’m trying to take a nap is not something I appreciated. Especially the part where you squished my eyeball with your foot.”

4. “What did you JUST do??” (This was after I heard a noise from the kitchen and when I went to investigate, I found the upper cabinet open above the stove. I don’t remember opening it. 😛 )

5. “You know, you really CAN go at least one day without humping my leg!” #HeThinksHesADog

Cheers! 😀

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This happens on a regular basis. I guess he’s honing his parroting skills. Oh, and the stain on the carpet behind him is the result of an unfortunate laundry detergent incident that I may chronicle in another blog or my upcoming book. It happened because it’s us. 😀

The One Where Lulabelle Writes a Letter To Jesus……

Dear Jesus: I am tired. Tonight I attempted, for the millionth time, to give our oldest cat her medicine for an inflamed trachea. I thought for sure this time it’d work because I mixed it into wet food and she seemed to enjoy it this morning.

Although I did put it in the microwave for a bit too long so I had to let it cool. It also maybe exploded just a bit during the heating process and now I have to eventually clean the inside of our microwave from wet exploded bits of cat food.

My bad. 😛

So far we’ve tried hiding the pill in a treat, hiding the pill in wet food and even rolling her favorite treat in the wet residue of the crushed up pill.

Nada.

If she was a tiny human now would be the point where I just break down and bribe her with a shopping trip to Claire’s or something if she would just freakin’ take her medicine!!

Jesus, it’s be a long couple days and I’m tired. I’ve been praying for her healing, but now I have another request.

Dear Jesus, can you do me a solid and just heal her “old school” style?  Like how you healed people in the Bible. You know, instantly with no fuss?

Thanks!

PS: Oh, and please forgive our vet’s office for what I’m 99% sure was a lie when I asked them if her medicine was available in liquid form and they said no.

Amen!

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Refuses to take her medicine. Prefers to eat Parmesan cheese from the trash. #CatLogic

Son Of a Monkey’s Uncle’s Mother’s Sister’s Hairstylist!

I am eating chocolate for dinner. I have no regrets. It’s been a long day. Specifically, this is the Mondayest Tuesday that has ever been.

Now I’m pretty sure I’ve used the term “Mondayest Tuesday” before, but I’m sure as shootin’ that the last time I used it wasn’t all that bad in the hindsight of today’s events.

Here is how the day has gone. I get up at 9 to feed the kids, find that Phoebe’s bowl is empty still because Riley ate it all. Phoebe has a raspy cough, so I call vet to schedule an appointment for this afternoon. Go back to sleep. Wake up at 2, Phoebe is still raspy but has eaten half her food. I get ready to go, go to sit down on the toilet and almost sit on Riley who is currently attempting to DRINK FROM the toilet. I get him off, sit down and he tries again to jump up and drink WHILE I’M ON IT. Then Chad gets home and while I’m getting my shoes on, he’s trying to corral Phoebe into the carrier without success. He turns around, Riley is IN the carrier just as pleased as punch. Chad picks it up, tells him to get out please, Riley fakes deafness and ignores him, so Chad picks up the carrier and tips it door forward (I do apologize we did not photograph this, but your imagination could probably paint a pretty accurate portrait of how this all looked)……Riley, still not wanting to get out of the carrier is holding on to whatever he can. He finally jumps out (Gosh, I haven’t gotten to the most stressful part yet. You better strap on a helmet or something. 😀 )

Chad gets Phoebe into the carrier and she’s not happy about it and is crying something awful, because her voice is still raspy AND she’s also scared.

I grab my crutches, think “I don’t need my purse. I can’t carry it with me,” so I leave it on the ground. Chad opens the door for me, I get outside, Chad follows me and shuts the door behind him, leaving Phoebe inside. The moment the door closes he asks me if I have my keys.

N…O…..P……E!

Thankfully our penchant for procrastination finally paid off as we haven’t yet gotten the window lock fixed, so Chad climbs through the window to rescue Phoebe and comes back out the front door that has been locked again. We get in the car, Chad says, “Oh **GOLLY GEE I forgot the keys!” So when we got back he has to do the window dance again.

By the way, Phoebe is fine. Took an X-Ray. They think it’s just an inflamed trachea and gave us medicine.

Which I had to attempt to trick her into taking a few hours later. They suggested stuffing into a soft treat or wet food. We have a can of wet food, but I wanted to try stuffing it in a pill before we had to go that route. So attempt #1 was a fail as I squished it whole into the back of the treat and gave it to her treat side up. She ate the treat and dropped the pill on the floor.

Dang it!!

So my next attempt involved crushing the pill with a paper plate and the back of a spoon.

No dice.

I added water to it and tried mashing it with a fork.

Here I was a humble Mennonite woman crushing up a BLUE pill with the back of a spoon for my cat and hiding it in her food. I felt like I was on an episode of Breaking Bad, minus the actual crystal meth.

So my last attempt was mashing up the pill with water into another soft treat. That worked like a charm. Oh, not that she ate it, but I was able to successfully mash it up into the treat.

Go me! 😛

So as I sit here writing this we are in a sort of holding pattern. She’s still not taken her pill and baby boy kitty continues to steal her food, to the point that I finally had to put it on the counter and hand feed her.

So I’m eating chocolate for supper. After which I plan to veg out on my current favorite video game; Best Fiends.

And wonder what tomorrow will bring.

**Blogger adjusts her crash helmet and makes sure her seat belt is fastened**

**Yeah, Chad didn’t actually say, “Golly Gee!” But our parents read this blog so….. 😉

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I may be eating chocolate for dinner, but don’t worry guys, it’s snack size! #GirlMath

LAFF: A List of Things We Used to Take For Granted……

Our life has changed in many ways since Riley became a part of our family in June. Lack of sleep and making sure he’s not too rough with our other cat is one change. But there are a few activities we used to take for granted that take much more planning and strategy now. Case in point; tying ones shoes. Seems easy and straightforward. But add in a rambunctious kitten and you get this:

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Just to reinterate, I was simply trying to tie my shoe and someone lost their little kitty mind.

I’ve also noticed that he tries to grab the string when I floss my teeth.

Seriously, this is our life now.

Another thing we take for granted? Being able to eat a meal without the constant barrage of cat noses and paws on our plates. We thought we had a solution to this. We were wrong.

Very, VERY wrong.

So we normally eat dinner in the living room on our couch. Mostly because our kitchen table is normally cluttered with stuff, but also because it’s somewhat comfortable. Well, since Riley has arrived, this has become a bit of a hazard because he’s so curious about the smells coming from the plates that he just can’t control himself. Last night our table was cleared off so we decided it’d be easier to eat at the table.

So we sat down at the table like grown ups thinking we had bucked the system and would enjoy our meal kitty free.

Again, we were WRONG!

First of all we’ve discussed putting a bell on Riley because little boy kitty is a freakin’ ninja when it comes to navigating the house. He will be in one room one minute, I leave the room thinking that he’s still in there, and he shows up in the NEXT ROOM I WALK INTO with a look on his face like, “Hey, where have you been??” So we thought of putting a bell on him just to avoid a coronary from the element of surprise. But the downside of this is that we’d have to get used to constant jangling around the house and I’m pretty sure we’d actually sleep LESS then we are now, which isn’t a lot.

So anyway, back to the nice quiet dinner Chad and I were having. Keep in mind there was food on our plates. We were dining on baked chicken and mashed potatoes.

We were deep in conversation about the state of our economy (Maybe. My mind has been full lately and my head is a little fuzzy on the details 😛 ) when all of a sudden a furry gingery head popped up from underneath the tablecloth and launched himself onto the table.

Not missing a beat, Chad says, “No Riley! Down!” as we are trying to teach him not to climb the table. (Side note: Yes I realize this will more than likely be a futile activity and we are in a way wasting our energy scooping him up off the table, but please let us just live in denial a little bit longer. Thanks. 😀 ) 

Riley, not to be outdone by being placed on the floor again, walked over to my chair and two hops later his foot was…I wish we would have been able to photograph this…. inches away from my mashed potatoes and when Chad again said, “No!” it startled him and his butt came within millimeters of the baked chicken ON. MY. PLATE. 

With that our dinner menu was changed to baked chicken….with essence of cat butt!! 

You won’t find that at KFC!  😀

So while we didn’t get a picture of this ridiculous display, we did manage to get a shot of him right after I scooped him up before he almost sat in my chicken!

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We ended up having to eat in shifts to finish our meal.

Shifts.

So as a public service, the next time someone tells you that kittens are easy and you are over reacting to whatever craziness is being thrown your way, please direct them to this blog post.

Your sanity will thank you! 😉

Fun Family Milestones……

Today our kitten Riley turns 4 months old. And over the weekend we celebrated his adoption with a party.

No, I’m serious.

And we went all out. I’m talkin’ “It’s a boy” banner outside our house, balloons flapping on our porch and blue gum cigars given out as party favors.

Guys, we even had a cake made into the shape of a litter box. **cue gasps of horror and surprise**

This was a risk and confused the guest of honor at one point. Seriously, we almost had an embarrassing, therapy-inducing incident.

At least it would have made a great blog! 😛

Here are a couple peeks into Riley’s adoption shower:


(Off topic-I’m trying a new way to display photos on my blog. Let me know if you like it this way  or should I go back to the old way?)

We all had a BLAST and Riley enjoyed meeting everyone (we had about 10 guests show up). And now days later, our house is alive with sounds of jingles and beeps and boops from all the new toys Riley has!! (Who knew a cat nip toy is supposed to make noise?!!) These toys are definitely appreciated, especially when Riley is running around playing with them at 3am.

Thanks, guys! 😛