Steemit Exclusive: The One Where Lulabelle Reviews ZICO Coconut Water and Regrets Her Most Recent Life Choice…….

I’m a sucker for packaging. If there is something in a cute package, 9 times out of ten I’ll pick it up and at least 5 times out of ten I’ll end up buying it.

Last night Chad and I went to the grocery store to pick up a few essentials. While in the juice aisle I ran across this:

ZICO WATERMELON COCONUT WATER DRINK
Now in addition to being a cute package fanatic, I’m also a watermelon fanatic, so when I saw the bright pink with specks of black, I knew I had to try it. And it was practically a steal at $2.99. (#HeavySarcasm)

Guys, I was had.

The advertisers roped me in with the cute packaging and by the time I realized how awful the product was, it was too late. I had already taken a sip.

And then I finished it. I KNOW, LINDA! DON’T JUDGE ME. LET ME EXPLAIN!

After my first sip, my face went into such contortions I thought I might vomit. (Ok, you can go ahead and judge me just a tad.) But then I thought maybe it’d get better as I drank it. (And I know what you are thinking, but no Linda, you are wrong, this was alcohol-free. 😉 I’ve just always been an overachiever. Sometimes that doesn’t end well. )

It’s like that idiot who tastes something, declares loudly that it “tastes terrible” and then asks another soon-to-be idiot to try it.

And I’m BOTH idiots.

So I’m sure you are all aching to know how this vile concoction tasted……

I have several thoughts on this and can’t make up my mind. The first taste that hits you when you sip it is…..salt.

Why?? It’s like this drink is catered towards those weird people who insist that salting their melons makes them taste better. Ladies and gentlemen, these people should not be trusted.

Then the flavor morphs into straight up Alka Seltzer which I have bad childhood memories of my mom who gave this to me to drink when I was sick. Thirdly, I’d like to think that this drink is similar to that stuff that they make you drink before you go in for your colonoscopy, which I will be doing, for the first time, in less than 2 years.

Oh, and that sound you just heard? That was the sound of my mother fainting because she forgot how old I am. 😛

So, to sum up, although the packaging is cute, I will not be trying this one again.

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Foodie Friday: The One Where Lulabelle Reviews Dunkin Donuts New Menu Item: Donut Fries……(Alternate Title: Dear Dunkin Donuts: What Were You Thinking?)

Last night Miranda Sings dropped a new video on her YouTube channel. She teamed up with Dunkin Donuts to promote their new Donut Fries. (Be warned, it’s Miranda Sings singing to the tune of Rebecca Black’s “Friday” and you’ll likely contract a viral earworm if you watch the commercial too many times. You’re welcome! 😉 ) As soon as I saw the commercial, I knew what I had to do. 

I had to get them immediately. 

Thankfully Chad was able to go grab them for my breakfast this morning. And I dug right in.

I just wonder how long these were field tested before being rolled out. I feel like maybe the launch was a bit rushed. 

Why? 

I guess it was my fault. I just assumed that donut fries would be donuts in the shape of (in this case, steak cut) fries. 

This was not accurate at all

For starters, the outside of the donut fry wasn’t coated all the way around in sugar like a regular donut should be. Instead it kind of looked like someone had taken a fried donut-esque thing-more on that in a minute-and very casually, with zero concept of accurate aim, threw some sugar on very haphazardly. 

When I bit into the end of the donut, I was in for a shock. It was not a regular donut taste or texture.
Guys, it was definitely potato-y.
And definitely not as sweet as a donut. 
I think they took the name “Donut Fries” WAY too literal. 

It felt like Dunkin Donuts was like that parent that tries to get their kid to eat vegetables and decides to add sugar where sugar shouldn’t be, rendering the already objectionable food completely inedible. 

Also the “crispy” outer layer felt less like a donut and more like a flaky wonton wrapper. 

The entire experience was so strange so I’ve decided to give this Dunkin Donuts product a hard pass…..much like a kidney stone.

Cheers! 

The One Where Lulabelle Reviews the Most Popular Snack Among Jr. High Kids……..Taki’s Hot Chili Pepper and Lime Tortilla Chips………

Before we begin, a disclaimer: I do not endorse eating overly spicy food if you happen to have severe acid reflux issues. Like with anything, if you think this will be too hot, don’t eat it. 🙂

I think I’m going to start a new series on my page where I eat trendy food from now OR I eat trendy food from my childhood (that my parents never bought because they preferred to feed us real food from the ground and trees and stuff) and see if I like it.

The latter would probably take some effort in terms of procurement, but I think the results would be worth it. I kind of already started this accidentally last year when I was on the road with Chad and we stopped at a gas station to get a snack. I got a Lunchable. It was the turkey one. Ironically it tasted like it had been expired about two years but was still on the shelf for purchase.

But I’m still alive so I guess no harm was done. Probably.

Today I’m going to become one of the cool kids, channel my inner middle schooler, and try the uber-popular spicy snack, Takis.

As an added bonus (because of boredom), I’ve also done my makeup today to resemble the Taki’s packaging. You’re welcome. (OK, this was done last night at 11:30, after which I washed my face thoroughly and went to bed 😛 ).

BlogTakisFace

Now let’s get on with the review……

Smell: Like regular nacho’s. Not all that spectacular. With a tiny aroma of lime.

I don’t feel popular yet.

Texture: Dry, like a rough feeling blanket dipped in Tabasco sauce and placed on your tongue.  I know this description is weirdly specific, but if you don’t believe me, get you a bath towel, put some hot sauce on it, and then place the towel on your tongue. Then compare it to the Taki’s.

Then subscribe to my blog because at that point you know I don’t lie or exaggerate. Much. 😉

Flavor: Hot. Then salty and then a little limey. Not very cheesy, but mostly hot. My tongue is starting to feel assaulted. I might die before I make it through the bag. We are out of milk. Pray for me.

Appearance: Like regular Doritos but redder and rolled up into a long tube-y shape. Except for this one chip that decided to stay a triangle chip shape instead of conforming to the rest of the bag and rolling up into a tube-y shape.

This chip is my spirit animal/food/whatever.

The entire 4 oz packaging has 4 servings with each serving packing in 140 calories. Taki’s also come in two other flavors; Crunchy Fajita and Nitro.

TakisPackage

Lulabelle Eats Asia: Crunchy Rice Snack (Korea)……..

Because I just ate an entire zucchini stalk in one sitting by myself, I thought I’d reward myself with something sweet. And you get a bonus blog out of it. 

#WinnerWinnerZucchiniDinner 😛 

Now I had two options left from the latest Asian food haul that showed up last night from the grocery store. A box of Everyburger chocolate biscuits and the Crunchy Rice Snack. The burger biscuits I wanted to do last because they are so iconically epic so tonight I bring you *dramatic drumroll*

Crunchy Rice Snacks: 

Smell: Like a cinnamon roll. 

Look: Puffed rice clusters that resemble corn on the cob. In a word, adorable. 

Taste: The closest thing I can compare it to is a cinnamon flavored rice cake. Not overly sweet, but a perfect balance of crunch and flavor. They make you feel good about yourself and your life choices in that you could have chosen to eat a decadent frosting covered donut, but instead, you chose this corn cob shaped grainy thing. 

And you don’t have frosting covered donuts in the house anyway. 

**We momentarily pause the writing of this blog so that Lulabelle can add “frosting covered donuts” to the grocery list.**

One thing I could see with this snack is that you could break it off from the cob, put it in a bowl and pour milk over it to make a cereal. 

And I would totally do this. 

We will definitely be repurchasing this snack if we can find it again. 

Lulabelle Eats Asia Crunchy Rice Snack
So what happened was I wanted to get a shot of them out of the package so you could see the corn cobby shape. Long story short, I was unable to cram them back inside and they now live in a large ziplock bag. 😛 

Lulabelle Eats Asia: Milkis Yogurt and Milk Flavored Soda/ Roasted Black Rice Snack (Korea)………

After our dinner of pizza last night, I was still hungry for a snack, and it was just my luck that Chad had just made a grocery run and had picked up, unprompted, a few Asian snacks for me to try out on my blog. Enjoy! 


Milkis Refreshing  Milk and Yogurt Flavor Soda

Smell: Very sweet. Took me a few to figure out what the familiar smell was, but it smells EXACTLY like rainbow sherbet, which makes sense because it’s a drink that is supposed to taste like milk and yogurt.

Taste:  Papaya with a Milk Of Magnesia finish. Which is unfortunate because I’m not so keen on the taste of MOM as it almost makes me gag. Even thinking about it now is a bit dicey. 

But it was a necessary evil when you were a kid and needed a little help to poo.

Look: The liquid is a watery milky color much like MOM (definitely doesn’t help to sway my opinion in a positive direction). The can is pretty cute though and matches my current manicure that I just happened to apply yesterday afternoon. 

Lulabelle Eats Asia Milka(2)

Roasted Black Rice Snack………….

Lulabelle Eats Asia Black Rice

First off let’s consider the packaging because I’m sure when you studied the packaging, or just gave it a fleeting glance, you probably thought this was a different kind of product that is currently illegal in the state of Indiana in the form that it presents itself to be on the packaging. So just to address the proverbial elephant in the room, I need to put a disclaimer here……

This is NOT pot. 😛 

Smell: One whiff and I was back at the county fairs of my youth. Where fried food comprised 90% of the booths.

Taste: A bit bland, but I’m not mad at it. Finishes with a tiny sweet kick.

Kind of reminds me of snacks my Grandma B used to have on hand, specifically these rice puff snacks that I’d ask her to put in my lunch when she visited our house during the school year.

When you eat these, you feel like you are adding more years to your life. (And helping facilitate your next poo. I know I keep talking about it, but honestly, when you reach a certain age and find something that works, you pass along the information as a PSA. 😉 )

Ending thoughts on both of these snacks: I’m still on the fence about the yogurt soda, but we’ll definitely be repurchasing the Roasted Black Rice snack.

Lulabelle Eats Asia: Roasted Seaweed Snack (South Korea)…….

In honor of the Olympics in South Korea, I’m bringing back my “Lulabelle Eats Asia” series (while also cleaning out my archived unpublished entry box). And today we eat everyone’s favorite aphrodisiac………….

SEAWEED!! (No, seriously. It is one. I googled it. 😛 )

Now, I generally don’t mind fish and other seafood, but even for me, seaweed was a bit out there. But my sister’s kids eat it as a snack and a few years ago when we were visiting them, I tried some. From what I can remember this tasted exactly the same.

Smell: Like the ocean. Fishy deliciousness. Which is weird because it’s not fish, but a plant. But it’s in salt water, so I guess that makes sense.

Taste: As these are supposed to be lightly salted, I gotta say I’m a little disappointed because they taste a little bland. They also have a tiny fishy flavor to them, but they smell fishier than they taste. (Although it should be noted that if you have a cat, they *may* be curious about the smell, but not enough to eat it for themselves).

Appearance: Each piece of seaweed is a rectangular thin sheet of delicate seaweedness. It’s actually very pretty to look at in the light. Like a delicate piece of glass.

.4oz package contains two servings. Each serving contains 30 calories, 50mg of sodium and 2g of fat.

So, as there is still a little bit of valentines day left (at least for the midwest and west coast stateside), go out and buy a package of seaweed, cut it into little heart shapes, snuggle up to your sweetie and let the seaweed do the rest. 😉 

Bon Appetite’ Y’all

Lulabelle Eats Asia: Aussie Style Soft Licorice Candy (OK, I fudged this one a little bit. Technically Australia is next to Asia so it counts, right? :-D )

**OH. MY. GOSH. You guys, did you get to see the eclipse yesterday? Chad and I traveled out of state to see it in totality, and I am still not sure how to describe it. I have so many blog stories in my head from this weekend, my brain is about to explode. So I need to write those. But today I am in post vacation recovery mode, so I thought I’d go through my archived “not yet finished” posts and review a food product. 

This piece was started awhile ago, as evidenced by the fact that I reference seeing “Beauty and the Beast” in the theatre. (The one with Emma Watson, not the original 90’s version 😉 ) 

This is also a continuation of my “Lulabelle Eats Asia” series. 

Enjoy! 


Licorice. It’s a sweet treat that I happen to LOVE. Like, I can easily eat most of a large package of Twizzlers by myself.

Hey, I said I could. I didn’t say it was a good idea. 😛 On Tuesday my best friend and I saw Beauty and the Beast in the theatre and passed the snack counter where we picked up popcorn and chocolate crunch balls. I briefly picked up a sleeve of Twizzlers, then put them down with a sigh. I’d like to go see the movie again and am trying to find someone to go with me. I even offered to buy them popcorn and Twizzlers.

I may have also warned them I would probably eat the Twizzlers.

You know, in the spirit of honesty and stuff. 😛

So when Chad picked these out of the international food aisle at Kroger and brought them home, I was elated.

Smell: Like cloyingly sweet Kool Aid powder. With a bite of organic fruit leather your mom made herself because Fruit Roll Ups don’t contain enough actual fruit.

Taste: This was confusing because based on the smell, I would have thought the flavor would have been stronger. Whoa! The flavor does kick in after you’ve chewed and swallowed. So the flavor is like if you were to take strawberry jelly and make it into a short and fat licorice chew. It finishes off with a tangy, slightly spicy flavor. Very nice.

Texture: very chewy and you have to work a bit to get all the left over bits off your teeth. 

All in all these were great and I’m definitely on the look out for them again. 

Photo on 2017-03-16 at 00.33 #2

While not exactly a koala bear (like at all. She’s a cat who thinks she’s human, but has a tail that moves like a squirrel when she gets too excited and jumps around) our oldest, Phoebe, wanted to pose with the bag of licorice. She also wanted to eat some, but I put on my “mean mom” hat and told her no. 😉