Monday Life Hacks Episode 2……

The smoke detector in our living room is on the way out. Most obviously distraught over the Falcon’s loss yesterday in the Super Bowl, our smoke detector has been squawking all day like a large mouse that’s gotten caught in a trap but is still alive.

I know, it’s horrifying. And I’m alone at the moment and can’t change the battery.

But don’t worry, guys. I was able to DIY a solution. Feel free to use this method and pass it along to others in need……

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Happy Monday! 😀

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Autumn in The Midwest…….

Welcome to October 17th in the Midwest, where in the morning you are so cold you have to turn off the AC and turn on the heat.

But by the time you reach 4pm, you have to turn off the heat and turn the AC back on because it’s so stifling in the house and because it will take a few minutes to kick in, you have to take off your clothes and just be in your underwear….But first you have to replace the tape over your web camera because you are also a bit paranoid of hackers being able to access your web cam from a remote location so they can turn it on and off at will and watch you walk around your house in your underwear.

Creepy.

Then you get ready to leave the house and decide you can go one more day without washing your hair, so you spray it with a little dry shampoo and whip it up into a “mom bun.” But this mom bun is unlike anything you’ve ever been able to do before and when you look into the mirror, you suddenly realize you look like Audrey Hepburn. So then you resolve to take a selfie when you get home because you know that you’ll probably NEVER be able to achieve this look ever again in life. You get so inspired that you actually throw on a bit of makeup before leaving the house.

Upon your return to the house, you boot up your laptop and take off the tape from your web camera so this amazing hairstyle can be documented in the history of your life.

But then you realize something has happened.

Somehow in the two hours that you’ve done your hair, you’ve gone from Audrey Hepburn chic to Madame Thenardier frumpy! 😛

Only on a Monday, y’all! Only on a Monday!

Cheers!

Personal Goals and the Ultimate Life Hack…..

So this week I am doing a little personal experiment. Honestly I’m gonna take it one day at a time because thinking about a one-week time frame is a bit overwhelming.

This week I am gonna try to not check my blog stats. At all.

In the midst of blogging regularly-ish for the last year I’ve sometimes gotten into the trap of checking my stats multiple times a day and even thinking about what is gonna get the most views.

That’s when the Lord comes in and gently reminds me of why I started blogging in the first place and that at the end of the day, the stats don’t matter one iota.

So for the next week, I am going to just write and not worry about the numbers.

Wish me luck.

Now let’s switch gears dramatically: **Dun, Dun, Dun!!** 😀

 As it’s a few minutes from early Monday morning, I decided I’d let you in on a secret that could dramatically change how you live your life.

So, we’ve all been there. You are out at a friends house just having a good time, when it happens. You gotta go #2. So after find the bathroom, you soon realize, to your horror, that this is gonna be a two-flusher. Er, make that 3. After making a mental note to never eat frois-gois from a gas station again, you try and figure out how you are gonna MacGyver your way out of this social faux-poo (I mean pas). Especially since you are unable to find a plunger anywhere in the bathroom.

Dear readers, you never have to be in this situation again after what I am about to share with you. This is a tip I learned growing up in a house where it was frequently deployed (and I’ve been sworn to secrecy to never reveal the offending party 😉 ). I can also tell you that I grew up thinking this would only work with soft water, but have hacked it in places with hard. So what is this magical solution that will rid you of the embarrassing stigma of being “that guy”?

Three Words: Liquid Dish Soap.

Any brand will do. As long as it’s in liquid form.

Simply squirt a good amount into the bowl after realizing what you’ve already put in there won’t budge. Wait about 10 minutes and then flush your problem literally down the drain.

Now, I know what you are saying-What are you supposed to do for 10 minutes while a line forms for the loo that is currently very occupato? I made a list….

  1. Sing show-tunes at the top of your lungs to those outside. This will entertain the crowd while the soap does it’s thing.
  2. Make an announcement from the bathroom that there is gonna be a wait. Suggest someone starts a rousing game of Mafia or Pictionary.
  3. Dictate a game of Simon Says. This one will have to be done on the honor system unless the bathroom door is clear glass…in which case you really have to question the home-owners design preference for putting a toilet in a room with a see-through door.

After 10-minutes of mafia, singing and Simon Says, re-flush the toilet. Everything should go down smoothly.

So there you have it. A life hack that will get you through Monday and your next dinner party. Just make sure you keep a small bottle of dish detergent in your bathroom, your purse and your pocket when you leave the house.

Problem solved. 🙂

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*Alternative way to handle clogging the toilet appears courtesy of: www.chucklesnetwork.com

Monday Morning Life Hacks…..

Let’s say you wake up on Monday morning and go to pour yourself a cup of coffee, but you get to the end of the pot before the cup is filled. Your brain is screaming for caffeine and after a short conversation with said brain, it’s obvious that it can’t wait for a new pot to brew. So, what do you do??

1. Do not panic. This is a quick fix that will get you through the day.

2. Grab a can of Ovaltine (I recommend the chocolate malt as it has less sugar), and pour this into your cup to your desired chocolaty-ness.

3. Enjoy the extra energy buzz and increased productivity!

What Monday Life Hack have you tried? Let me know in the comments below!

Cheers!

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*Monday Morning Life Hack that may leave you in the ER appears courtesy: http://www.memecenter.com