A Month of Blogs: Lessons Learned

I’ve been blogging now 5 days a week for one month, and as of this post, two days. While saving this document I realize this is lucky #20. If you think the number 20 is lucky, anyway. In that time I’ve pored over the contents of my writing, making sure it’d reach as many as possible. By this point I feel like I could teach a seminar on the art of tagging. It’d be short, but you’d learn a few things. I also spend time every day refreshing my stats page to see the number of views/likes/comments very slowly climb. Very slowly. To the point of having to reload the entire page because it’ll inevitably crash. 

As a person whose primary Love Language is words of affirmation, it can be a bummer to log into my WordPress account and not see the stats bar move very far. If at all. I also worry that by saying this you’ll get the impression that I’m shilling for more views. I’m not.

One month ago, I felt the Lord leading me to blog on my experiences with anxiety in an effort to help others. And that’s the key; others. It’s never been about me, even though I’m writing about things that happened to me. Whoa, that’s a pretty deep epiphany for 1:15am.

Last night my husband and I watched– or attempted to watch– the movie, “Heaven Is For Real”. I say attempted because it was a free rental, and neither of us remembered that sometimes rentals can be damaged and skip key parts of the film. Several times. While frustrating, we stuck it out. Especially since I have read the book several times, and narrated what was skipped to the delight of my husband. The book and the movie are quite different, and if I were to make a recommendation, I’d say read the book.  For those of you unfamiliar, here’s a brief synopsis: HIFR is based on a true story about an American child, Colton Burpo, who visits heaven while having surgery for a ruptured appendix. At the time of his visit he is 4 yrs old. His parents, a pastor and his wife, are left to slowly figure out the truth by talking to their son, and gently encouraging him to tell what happened in his own words. In the book, the church and small town are inspired by Colton’s story and embrace the family. On the other hand, the movie paints the town and some in the church as doubters, and a few even make fun of the situation.

Seeing this section in the movie made me realize something. You know the old saying, “What is popular is not always right and what is right is not always popular?” This is definitely true as a follower of Jesus. When the Lord speaks to you and tells you to do something, you do it. Despite what others might say. When Colton told his family he had visited heaven, they believed him, despite what others said. The family felt led by God to share Colton’s story, despite the negative attention some gave them. It was never about giving themselves glory, but focusing that glory on God.

I think this is the biggest lesson I’ve learned in this month-long blogging journey. I was led by Jesus to begin my blog, not knowing how long it’d last or how many I’d write. Not even knowing how many people would read it, if any. But the intended focus has always been to use my experience to help others. And if I only ever had one follower, they would be my mission field and focus. I was asked to follow a certain path, and let God handle the rest. Even to the point of trusting Him when I was hesitant to reveal my beliefs, for fear of alienating my audience–I understand that religion can be a source of anxiety for folks. And so I march on. 

One month in, I hope you’ve found encouragement and hope in my little space on the internet. I don’t know how long we’ll be together, but I know I’ve enjoyed the ride so far. So buckle up. I’ll see you tomorrow!

Remember you are not alone (Jesus loves you SO much!)  🙂 



Anxiety in the Workplace Part 3: When Your Job Becomes a Game of SORRY!

Author’s note: The following post was written by the author during a time of great strife in the life of the author’s youngest cat (translation: I was gone for 3 hours and she thought I was never coming back!), causing said cat to take refuge atop author’s lap. Please ignore any spelling errors as it’s become difficult to type. We now return you to our regularly scheduled blog! 😀

Yesterday’s entry ended on a high note; I had a job I loved, working for awesome people and my confidence had reached an all time high.  Then suddenly, without much fanfare, my job became a literal game of SORRY!, wherein I was toppled from my square and forced to start at the beginning. New management brought a completely different dynamic to our working environment. Things done and praised one day, were inexplicably criticized the next. Staff shifted around in a constant stream of new faces.

Here is where my anxiety was heightened. Couple things about me: 1. I hate change. Yes, I know I’m an adult and change is one of the constants in life; I’m still not a fan–but I am getting better at being OK with it. And, 2. My primary love language is Words of Affirmation.

(Sidenote: Back in college I read a book titled, “The Five Love Languages” for a Communication class. The author’s main premise is that we all have primary ways that we give and want to receive love. There are 5: Words of affirmation, Physical touch, Quality time, Gifts and Acts of service. When you don’t receive your PLL you can begin to feel empty inside. I highly recommend the book and can do another post on this if you’d like)

Now, integrating the Five Love Languages into your job is a bit of a sticky issue. You don’t normally think of love when you are in a professional environment. But I really do thrive on positive feedback. Unfortunately, that’s not something that ever comes up during your job interview, so no one would easily know.

Through this entire period I kept asking God what I should do. The answer I kept hearing? “Keep going.” It’s a delicate dance when you love what you do, but the environment where you are doing your dream job leaves much to be desired. Finally one day in May, I heard from God. This time my answer was, “It’s time”. So I nervously put in my two weeks notice and almost instantly it felt as though a load had been lifted. Two weeks later I walked away and felt better than I had in months!

Being gone from that job has allowed me to be a more authentic me. I’m able to concentrate on things that interest me and enrich who I am. I’ve been able to start a blog, chronicling my life in hopes of helping others. I finally conquered that game of SORRY! and came out on top.

Remember, you are not alone!