Major Announcement and LAFF on Thursday…..

We are flip-flopping days today as my husband will publish a special piece on the blog tomorrow, so I’m writing my typical LAFF (Lulabelle’s Anxiety Free Friday) post today. But first, to a major announcement……

Many people resolve to get into better shape every New Years day as their new year’s resolution. I really hadn’t made a new years resolution in the last few years, minus the year I vowed to get married (We had already become engaged and I knew the wedding was set for later that year. 😉 ). Yep, reasonable goals are my jam. So when the Lord spoke to me and told me what I could resolve to do this year, I kinda had to take a step back and have a serious conversation with God. It went something like this:

God: This is what I want you to do this year.
Me: Whoa! Um, really? Dude, are you serious? (I believe in keeping my talks with God real, so whatever comes out, comes out 😉 )
God: Yes. You can do it.

So, what did God ask me to do? Well, ladies and gentlemen, this year I will be publishing a book. It’s a big goal that seems scary and insurmountable, but I’ve already started the process. I’ve joined book writing groups on FB. I have thought about the title and possible cover designs. Most importantly I’ve thought about content. And the content I’ll be using is my blog. Tomorrow after my blog uploads there will be 200 entries to choose from. I’m also in the process of refining my blog so it’s easier to navigate.

So there you have it. My goal for the year. If it doesn’t happen all this year, I’m not going to stress. I’m making smaller goals within the big goal and will approach things one step at a time. I do appreciate your prayers and good thoughts through this process. Oh, and if you’ve managed to get a book published? What was your experience?? Please fill me in in the comments below. Thanks! ❤

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And now on to our LAFF on Thursday! Facebook recently came out with a new activity. The task is to ask your children a series of questions about yourself and see how well they know you. As we only have 4 legged kids with fur here, I thought I’d turn this task on its head and interview our youngest. She’s currently not quite asleep on our couch behind me. The oldest one is out of commission though, snoring away. Let’s begin:

1. What is something I always say to you? Hey, no wiping your bum on the carpet!

2. What makes me happy? Daddy (awww!! 😉 )

3. What makes me sad? Something called Donald Trump. You talk about that a lot. He has funny hair.

4. How do I make you laugh? I don’t really laugh because I’m a cat. I can poot on command though. Wanna see? (No. Really, no. )

5. What was I like as a child? I don’t know. Probably smaller. I think you also had more fur and possibly a tail. (None of that is true except the smaller part)

6. How old am I? Seventy-eleven (I think we need to work on numerical concepts)

7. How tall am I? Probably taller than our house, but I really don’t know because I don’t like going outside so I’ve never actually seen the outside of our house.

8. What is my favorite thing to do? Write and watch TV.

9. What do I do when you’re not around? I don’t know. I’m either asleep or doing cat things. Alone.

10. What am I really good at? Being a mommy.

11. What am I not very good at? Being a cat.

12. What do I do for a job? You write on the computer. Sometimes you leave the house and then come back hours later, when it’s dark. When you come home, you smell funny; like other cats. And sometimes milk. (HA! this is true. I work in childcare and sometimes I am gone till dark. One of my clients has two cats. 😀 )

13. What is my favorite food? Anything that looks good that I can’t eat. You keep feeding me those brown pellets. I tried a banana pepper once. I think I liked it (She did NOT like it). I see those once a week at home. Can I have one? (No. No, furry gray squirrel. You may not.)

14. What do you enjoy doing with me? Cuddling on your lap and sleeping. Sometimes I stick my bum in your face. I don’t know why you don’t like it.

Here is our interview subject on the Fourth of July last year NOT enjoying fireworks.

phoebe fourth of July 15

 

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What a Difference a Year Makes and New Years Resolutions…

During our Christmas vacation, I shared the following photo on Facebook:

christmas 2015

The caption was as follows: “What a difference a year makes! Praising the Lord for his mercy and grace!”

Of all the 32 likes, I’m wondering if anyone thought about what this picture represented to me, beyond the length of my hair.  In contrast, here is a picture taken last year around the same time:

christmas 2014

Besides the shorter length of my hair is something that you can’t see; how broken I felt inside. See we had just come to the conclusion that we’d not have children.

I’ve blogged about this several times. My first entry can be found here. The rest can be found at the bottom of that same page under “related.”

At this time last year I was wondering what my purpose in life was. If I wasn’t supposed to be a mother, what could I do to fulfill myself? Would I ever be happy not being a mom? Would my marriage crumble under this stress?

It’s been an unexpected year so far. A year filled with joy and hope. I actually did give birth in February; to my blog. A place for me to give people hope and a purpose. And to remind them that they are never alone in their struggles.

I also learned more about the new community I was a part of: the awesome community of people who are Childless Not By Choice. A community that I am grateful for. The community is a place I can go when I’m feeling down or frustrated. And they are always encouraging, always supportive.

Through this community I’ve realized that each CNBC story is as diverse as the snowflakes that have yet to fall outside my window. Although each is unique, they are all valid and meaningful. There is a sacredness to each narrative.

I don’t know why my story has so far been hopeful. Yes, I’ve had days when I’ve felt a loss, but I’ve also had more days filled with promise. My marriage is as strong as ever. And I think I’ve found my purpose; as a blogger to help others understand the plight of the CNBC, and as a child-care provider. I’ve also realized the important role I play in the lives of my nieces and nephews (My newest niece will come into the world next week and I couldn’t be more excited. 😉 ).

So this year ends with hope. And excitement. I actually have a new years resolution that I think will stick. It’s a goal really (is there a difference? ). But I think I’ll leave it at that till I reach 200 blog entries. Don’t worry, I’m actually almost there. I have a few things to flesh out before I make the official announcement anyway. Till then, always remember you are never alone….especially as this year ends and another begins! Oh, and Jesus loves you 😉

Cheers!

Here is a song I can’t get out of my head and I think it’s a great one to start a new year. While my situation is different, I think the lyrics still apply….living this year with anxiety and childlessness, I feel like the lyrics, “I’m gonna do all the things that you said I never could” still apply to me and the “you” in the song is anxiety and doubt.