Welcome to October 17th in the Midwest, where in the morning you are so cold you have to turn off the AC and turn on the heat.
But by the time you reach 4pm, you have to turn off the heat and turn the AC back on because it’s so stifling in the house and because it will take a few minutes to kick in, you have to take off your clothes and just be in your underwear….But first you have to replace the tape over your web camera because you are also a bit paranoid of hackers being able to access your web cam from a remote location so they can turn it on and off at will and watch you walk around your house in your underwear.
Then you get ready to leave the house and decide you can go one more day without washing your hair, so you spray it with a little dry shampoo and whip it up into a “mom bun.” But this mom bun is unlike anything you’ve ever been able to do before and when you look into the mirror, you suddenly realize you look like Audrey Hepburn. So then you resolve to take a selfie when you get home because you know that you’ll probably NEVER be able to achieve this look ever again in life. You get so inspired that you actually throw on a bit of makeup before leaving the house.
Upon your return to the house, you boot up your laptop and take off the tape from your web camera so this amazing hairstyle can be documented in the history of your life.
But then you realize something has happened.
Somehow in the two hours that you’ve done your hair, you’ve gone from Audrey Hepburn chic to Madame Thenardier frumpy! 😛
Only on a Monday, y’all! Only on a Monday!
So I just grabbed a can of soup for an easy supper. One of those cans with a flip-top. I carefully lifted the tab as I had just manicured my nails. Every time I open a flip top can, I think, “Dear Lord, today is the day that, despite my best efforts at cleanly opening flip-top cans, I’ll lose control and soup will fly**SPLAT** onto the the living room carpet and land on my beloved MacBook Pro”.
Today was that day. Sort of. No I didn’t splat soup onto the carpet or my computer, but I DID manage to break the tabby thingy that you pull to open the top of the can, almost rendering the entire can useless. There was a moment that I thought of just drinking the contents, but then I wouldn’t have been able to consume the chicken deliciousness.
That would have been tragic.
Fortunately I was able to MacGyver a way to open the injured can using a regular can opener and a spoon.
So here is what I’m thinking–either A. this incident is indicative of how my week is gonna go, or B. I’ve gotten the bad part of my week over with and the next couple days will go smoothly.
For now I’m going with option B.
So to start Monday off on a good note, I offer a few words of wisdom:
1. Don’t take yourself so seriously. Seriously.
2. Ignore the haters and trolls. Someone wants to pee in your Cheerios? Move the bowl and walk away.
3. Connect with your inner-child. Do a coloring book (you can even color outside the lines 😉 ), climb a tree (with a spotter if you are of a certain age….can’t be too careful 😉 ), or run as fast as you can against the wind.
Unlucky dog appears courtesy of google search.