LAFF: Marriage: You’re Doing It Right…..

This spring will mark 9 years since Chad and I became “us.” We have been married 3.5 years out of the 9. Even still sometimes things get to the point where you forget some things. Like whose toothbrush belongs to whom.

Working long hours isn’t exactly helping the situation.

A couple weeks ago Chad accidentally used my toothbrush. After he confessed to me, I made him a kind of “cheat sheet” so it won’t happen again. šŸ˜›

toothbrushes

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Blog-a-versary and Coping With Long Hours Part Duex

(7:12PM EST) Bloggers Note: Ok kids, I can already tell that this is not gonna go up before GMT kicks in so the date on today’s blog will be 2/12 even though it’s still 2/11. I keep trying to upload earlier, but my schedule right now won’t let me. Hopefully this will change soon…..

Hey guys, guess what?? Can you believe that today marks my one year anniversary for blogging? Or blog-a-versary if you will. When the Lord first laid this blog on my heart, I wanted to be obedient but I didn’t know how long this would last. It’s still amazing to me that I’ve had so many things to write about in the last year and that my posts have helped so many. I am currently in the process of finding a publisher for my book (I still can’t believe it’s actually coming together as quick as it has) and am looking forward to helping more people in the next year through my blog. Thank you for being a part of this journey.


So yesterday I laid out some ways to focus your thinking when you have a spouse that works long hours. Today I thought I’d make a list of things you can do to help encourage your spouse while they work long hours. This list is certainly not complete as I’m sure there are other things I’ve not thought of, but these are things I’ve found that have helped encourage Chad during this season:Ā 

1. Love notes: My primary love language is words of encouragement, so I got this one on lock ;-). When your spouse is at work, write out little encouraging notes for them on post-it notes and stick them around the house for them to find. Alternatively if you’ve been together for a long time, write down a memory on each note from your life together. This will also help you remember why you are together, since the season of working long hours can be draining to your psyche.

2. Help them get ready for their shift. In our house this includes making sure his coffee container is full and, on the days he takes his lunch/dinner, making sure it is packed. Also making sure his uniform is freshly laundered is a helpful thing you can do. (Sidenote: While some may argue getting your husband’s clothes and food together to go to work is part of a subservient role, please realize that that attitude is pure horse-pucky! šŸ˜› A successful marriage is two people who share the workload. You are partners. You both hustle!)

3. Pray with them. Prayer is one of the most supportive things you could do to encourage your spouse.

4. Try and follow their schedule. When they sleep, you sleep. I know this one is a bit out there, but if you don’t have a job outside your home or you work from home and you can have a flexible schedule, try to follow their schedule. In this way you can have time together. I would, however, recommend that you don’t follow their sleep schedule to a tee. Overlapping is the better approach. Go to bed a bit earlier than they do and get up before they do so you are able to get a load of laundry started or the dishes done.

Following these tips has helped us get through this season so far. We hope the same for you. Remember, you are NOT alone.

Cheers!

Tune that is appropriate for today appears courtesy of Youtube

To the Newlywed Whose Spouse Works Long Hours

There is snow on the ground, our oldest cat has been walking around sneezing and hissing at anything that moves and I just got bit. Yep, just another typical Wednesday! While she’s taking what I hope to be a LONG nap, let’s get into our topic of the day…..

Before I got married I had visions of making lavish dinners and having the house clean and dinner on the table when Chad came home from work. Oh, and I’dĀ  be doing this while wearing a vintage dress and high heels circa 1950’s. Fast forward to now and reality is much different. I can’t wear high heels, I can count on one hand the number of dinners we’ve had sitting at the dinner table, and our idea of “lavish” is instant mashed potatoes jueged up with fresh garlic, basil and red pepper flakes. And now that I’ve accidentally given away the recipe for my famous mashed potatoes, I’ll have to add another ingredient to throw you off. šŸ˜›

More recently though, Chad and I have had dinners separately. Yes, we are still madly in love(and still dancing in the checkout aisle šŸ˜‰ ). But life has come in and made our routine a bit, in the words of Phoebe from FRIENDS, floopy. We’ve become more nocturnal and are in a season where we can’t spend as much time together as we’d like.

As I’m sure there are other couples out there that are in the same boat, I thought today I’d make a list of things to encourage you if your spouse is in a season of working long hours.

1. Don’t let Satan steal your joy and fill you with the lie that your spouse doesn’t love you and that is why they are working long hours.

2. Focus on the big picture. In this season realize that because of the long hours, your bills are being paid and your savings (and emergency fund) are being built and strengthened. Trust the Lord. You can’t see what is down the road, but He can. Maybe there will be unexpected bills from car breakdowns or water pipe bursts. Or you may need to take the cat into the vet because she won’t stop sneezing. Working long hours will allow you to do this without going further into debt.

3. Lean on your support system. Ideally this would include at least one other person that also has a spouse working long hours. God has blessed me with the best sisters-in-law who are in the same boat as I am and they are an amazing resource on days when I need encouragement.

4. Pray for your spouse. I’ve said this before, but now more than ever does your spouse need spiritual encouragement for strength and stamina.

5. On those frustrating days when you miss your spouse and start filling with resentment, take a deep breath and repeat this mantra: “This is for the greater good and is just a temporary situation”

I know having your spouse work freakishly long hours is hard, especially if you’ve just said, “I do.” But I promise the list above can help take the edge off.

Remember you are not alone. šŸ™‚

Cheers!