In Real Time: Where Lulabelle Watches a Movie and Records Her Thoughts in Real Time: My Best Friend’s Wedding…..

Today I’m so excited to present to you my second installment in my series In Real Time. This is how it works-if you were too lazy to read the title 😉 – I watch a hokey movie and record my thoughts in real time. And I had a special helper to write this one:

Photo on 2016-05-17 at 21.12

Today’s selection is a throwback from 1997. My Best Friend’s Wedding starred Julia Roberts as food critic Julianne Potter whose best friend, Michael played by Dermot Mulroney, is planning to marry a billionaire’s daughter, played by Cameron Diaz, whom he’s only known for a short period of time.

The catch?

Julianne is in love with Michael and when he calls to tell her of his engagement, she thinks he’s calling to tell her he loves her too (he calls within days of her 28th birthday, and years earlier they make a pact that if neither one of them was married by the time they turned 28, they’d marry each other–they were involved romantically for “one hot month”).

So as Julianne is on her way to see Michael, she devises a plan to break up the wedding. I won’t give away the ending, but here are my real time reactions.

The Opening Credits:

40 seconds in and the intro is Dusty Springfield’s song “Wishin’ and Hopin”with a dancing bride and bridesmaids.

Right away the hokeyness factor is set pretty high.

 2 Minute mark-Still on the intro. Ok, so full disclosure here, I did what this song told me to do to make me “his” and it didn’t work. Almost got a restraining order.

Thanks Hollywood! 😛

By the way, catching your own bouquet at your wedding is kinda a douchey move. I’d not recommend it.

 3:11-Ok lady, pick a veil length, short or long. You CAN’T have both.


The Movie:

4:36-WHOA! Is that an industrial sized walkie-talkie Julia Roberts just pulled out of her purse?

Oh, never mind. It’s just a flip phone. Phew!

9:18-don’t you just hate it when you are on the phone and go to sit down on the bed all graceful like and you miss and fall off the bed, almost cracking your head open?

10:11-No biggie, just a giant United Airlines plane taxiing down a highway overpass!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!

12:10-I’m not saying this is why they don’t allow me to drive, but…… 😀

12:18-I know I’m not really very physics minded, but considering Cameron Diaz is driving with the top down at a high rate of speed, wouldn’t her sunglasses have flown off her head and hit oncoming traffic by now or a bird?

13:22-As far as fashion is concerned, that bridesmaid’s dress has actually cycled back into style.

17:25-I’m not sure why the director had Cameron Diaz’s character stop the elevator during the middle of her monologue. Doesn’t seem to fit and just makes her come off as a freakin’ psycho—oh, I see what he did there.

18:00-Totally would have punched her in the face to get the elevator open. Julia Roberts has more restraint that I. Er, me? #grammarishard!

18:31-Don’t you just hate when you step off an elevator into a tray of expensive luncheon meat and land on the floor as it cascades over you? Yep. Me too.

35:00-Ah yes, the rite of passage we all go through when we call our closest friend and leave a ranting, maniacal message on their machine when they are hosting a dinner party.

Good times.

42:21-Ah yes, the “make my gay best friend pretend he’s engaged to me to make my crush jealous” trope. So prevalent in ’90s movies. Cinematic gold, people.

49:29-Speaking of tropes, no ’90s rom-com would be complete without the “breaking into song for no apparent reason” shtick. Classic.

It kinda makes me wonder if at this point the writers were taking too many hits of acid (eh, probably weed. It was the ’90s afterall) and declared this scene “perfection”

50:52-now everyone in the restaurant where the action is taking place is singing. What in the actual crap is going on?? :-O

59:02- The moment Julia Roberts’ character falls completely off the rails and goes into “underhanded psycho” territory (AKA-sending a fake email supposedly from your best friend’s future father-in-law to your best friend’s boss).

And Paul Giamatti makes an early career performance as “random bell hop guy” Superb acting chops. Hope he goes far. 😉

1:09:28-I’ve watched this movie like a million times and this is the first time that i noticed a piece of ash in Julia Roberts’ hair after the cigarette is thrown out. #dontsmokekidsyourhairwillcatchfire #unlessyouareinamovie #hollywood #HDbaby

1:14:49-Let me just say this once; in no real-world scenario is someone gonna choose jello over creme brulee unless they are lactose intolerant.

And even so I’m sure a soy vegan version can be produced. It would undoubtedly suck, but whatever……

1:16:01-Huh. John Denver still sounds cool when helium-ized. Now THAT’S talent!

1:19:54-So Garry Marshall is by far my favorite director of rom-com’s and it just dawned on me that in most of his movies, there is always a chase scene whether by car or rental truck.

Think about it: The Other Sister, Runaway Bride (even made the title), Pretty Woman…….wait, I just realized My Best Friend’s Wedding wasn’t directed by Garry Marshall. Oops! 😛 #icanttellthedifference

1:34:50-In no universe is giving a song that defined your relationship with your ex- boyfriend an appropriate gift to give your ex-boyfriend at his wedding. Just. No.

1:34:51-Let’s talk about bubble skirts for a minute. A carry over from the ’80s that made it into this wedding. I wanna know who thought it a great fashionable idea to make a skirt that looks like the front half is tucked into your underwear. I mean, really? Your grandparents are coming to this wedding. They don’t need to see that! 😛