LAFF: To the Time Lulabelle Almost Died Extracting Poo From an Angry Cat’s Bum…..

Maybe the title is a tad of an over-exaggeration. But in my defense the lead up to this lasted, I’m ashamed to even say, several days. Yeah. #catparentfail 😦

As I’ve done in the past I began this blog on my Facebook page as a status update, but realized it would make a great blog, so here we sit today.

So let me rewind to a few days ago. Our oldest cat had just made a deposit in the litter box and did her usual running as fast as she can across the house to the backroom (I’ve been told most cats do this after using the litter box for #2 because, after a good poo they get a sudden burst of energy). When she calmed down, she sat on the floor and dragged her bum a few inches forward. I knew something was not right. So I looked at her bum and saw a foreign object stuck to it. At first I thought it was a large cardboard shard from her scratch pad. They do tend to show up in odd places. But as I looked closer,  I made the gross discovery that it was a piece of, um, #2.

I grabbed a paper towel and tried to pull it off. It was only than that I discovered it was stuck. To. Her. Fur. Awesome.

So, what to do? Of course I tried numerous times to rid her backside of the cloggy annoyance, but to no avail. It’s so frustrating when your cat is obviously uncomfortable and you attempt to fix the uncomfortableness and you are met with a claw in the face or a literal hissy-fit. So I had to get creative.

Especially considering exactly where on her bum the offending object was stuck. Did you know that cat’s have butt-cheeks? Neither did I until this little incident. You learn something new every day. Some days are grosser than others.

So I knew that simply taking a paper towel to her bum wasn’t gonna cut it. I was gonna have to go in bare-handed. Because of this, I also had to wait till she was not as aware of her surroundings.

I chose nap time. But as soon as I approached, even though she was snoring, she awoke and growled. They don’t call it a “cat nap” for nothing.

At this point I had exhausted everything. I had to call in back-up. Now the only questions remaining were who was gonna hold the “patient” and who was gonna do the extraction.

We flipped for it.

I lost.

Extraction was gonna be my doody (sorry, I had to go there 😀 ).

But before we started, Chad ran into the laundry room and returned with a sock. This is what I would squeeze my hand into to protect it from….blech, never mind.

So, Chad picked up our 10 lb. bundle of joy (she’s lost weight 😉 ), I slapped on the sock and we prayed for a miracle. As our oldest came at me–Chad was holding her with her teeth facing away from his face–her big paws thrashing and her ginsu-knife claws poised for a stab, I focused on my task. And like sticking your hand into a blender when the blade is running, I quickly grabbed onto the hairy poo and pulled.

It came out on the first try. Success!! And as an added bonus, no human sustained bite or claw marks.

We are definitely gonna have to burn that sock, though.

Have a great weekend, ya’ll!


An example of a position that may have been helpful appears courtesy of: