This blog post is in response to the article posted by Brit Tashjian from yourtango.com. You may read the article here.
As a woman who is childless by choice I’d like to say thank you for perpetuating the stereotype that I am indeed selfish. Bravo to you for helping to pressure young women who don’t want to be mothers to make the choice anyway, and then realize down the road that their God-given instincts were correct after-all and mothering is not for them. At least they won’t be labeled as “selfish.”
I guess if I really do think about it, in a way I am selfish. I do sleep in and sometimes sleep all day. On those days my anxiety and depression-that runs in my family-has gotten the better of me and I need to give my body a chance to recharge.
See, my husband and I made the conscious choice to remain childless after much soul-searching and prayer. There was a number of factors that played into our decision really; such as our age, collective energy levels, and multiple physical/mental concerns that would very possibly short change the care of our child.
It wasn’t a choice, really. It was the responsible, right thing to do.
Oh, I forgot to tell you what I do for a living. I’m actually in child-care. That’s right, I step in when those who apparently made the “right” choice to become parents need a well deserved night out. Or a nap. I know I’m probably a poor substitute for the “real thing” since I don’t have children of my own and therefore probably lack the skills necessary to care for children that range in age from preschool to elementary. Sure when I started I may have put on a few diapers backwards, but I eventually got the hang of it. And in all my years of caring for children, I haven’t lost one yet, so I must be doing something right. 😉
Looking back over the article you wrote, there is that question of happiness and fulfillment that you don’t think one can have outside of children. Funny you should mention this because I find tremendous joy and fulfillment in seeing the faces of refreshed parents at the end of my shift. I also find joy in reading to my niece and nephews, playing Lego’s and talking in silly voices over mountains of crayons and reams of paper.
And at the end of the day, I can rest my head on my pillow, in my childless house-only scattered with the toys of my cats-and know in my heart that I’m going down the right path with my life.