Confessions of a Paranoid Cat-Mama

You know you are a paranoid cat mama when: 

1. Every time it rains you worry about fleas

2. You constantly pick at your cat’s fur, ears, and skin looking for anomalies. Turning them every which way. Cat is admitted to the vet with symptoms of vertigo. 

3. After your oldest goes in for dental surgery, you constantly worry about their breath and therefore start smelling the breath of all cats you come into contact with, even if they don’t live in your house. This results in you no longer being invited to parties in homes with cats. 

4. You wonder how much hair is too much to fall off in one brushing. And how long each brushing session should last. Should you really be able to make a new cat after each brushing??  

5. You worry your cat will be made fun of on the playground as a result of the bald spots acquired by over brushing. 

6. After watching a My Cat From Hell marathon, you worry that your cat should be on the show, so you call the show and are put on hold. The call is eventually dropped. 

7. Your cat realizes how fun it is to climb up on the counter where there is food, hours before their surgery and after you’ve stopped feeding them. So you take all the food off the counter and send it to the neighbors. They are on vacation, so you leave it on the porch. In the morning you discover that raccoons have ravaged the stash, and raccoon poo is now all up and down the neighbors driveway. You contemplate moving before neighbors return. 

If you are a fellow paranoid cat mama, you are not alone. Feel free to share this list.  🙂 



*paranoid cat appears courtesy:

Fortune Cookies, Cat Parent Guilt, and How to Spell Gross Words

Well, unlike Garrison Keillor, it has NOT been a quiet week here in….yeah, I don’t live in Lake Wobegon. But even if I did, it wouldn’t change how crazy our week has been cat wise. On Monday the youngest one surprised me by “marking” a pile of laundry. Some of which was clean. Today I went through and made sure they came out of the laundry smelling fresh and, lets just say I’ll need to run another load tonight. 

And all this week our oldest cat, whom we have affectionately christened “Princess Fussy Butt” has been grumpier than a certain famous internet feline.  It’s normal for her to try to attack the youngest, but not more than once a week, and definitely not more than once a day. We were at our wits end when we arrived at the vet’s office this afternoon. Our cat wasn’t doing much better. She was already grumpy and hates riding in the car in her carrier, so to make the trip a bit easier, we put her favorite small plush pig and a bit of cat nip inside the carrier. It did make transport a bit more calm, but by the time we hit the parking lot, a certain smell filled our car. You’ve never seen a truly angry cat until they have to be shampooed off in the vets office. Long story short we now have to replace a favorite plush toy, and replenish our supply of cat nip. And maybe include the cat in our will. As sole heir. 

After the vet examined her, she was diagnosed with dental abscesses. I’ve written that word WAY too many times today. Abscesses. Defined by google as, “a swollen area within body tissue containing an accumulation of pus.” Pus is also a gross word, but I haven’t written or heard it as often today. 

The only way this can be fixed is surgically. After we came home today I did some research on dental abscesses in cats, including symptoms. That’s when the guilt set in. I realized our cat has been exhibiting symptoms of dental abscess for a while. She was grouchy because she was in pain. I felt like the worst cat parent ever. I’m the one that’s home the most. I should know what’s normal and what’s not.

Not only do I feel guilt, but going through this process of treating an injury for an animal that you consider your child, that requires surgery, is a bit delicate. No one thinks twice about doing everything possible to treat a child that needs a tooth extraction–the same procedure needed for our cat. But swap the tiny human out for a cat, and some people will think you are wasting money. But for those of us that won’t have human children, this is it. These are our kids. And I think I’ve handled this as though she was human. I put her on prayer chain lists at church, called friends and asked them to pray. And I’ve worried. Worried about how much this will cost. Worried that things won’t heal properly. Worried that our other cat will display the same symptoms. But you know what? Ever since we came back from the vet this afternoon, I’ve been on the internet doing research. And I’ve been on social media. And in my newsfeed, time and time again today, there have popped up memes of inspirational quotes. Messages of how things are gonna work out, how we need to count our blessings….ect…And then there was the fortune cookie. 

My husband frequents a local chinese restaurant during the week for lunch. Each time he goes, a fortune cookie finds its way home with him.  But he never eats them. I usually fish them out of his work bag and eat them. And read the fortune. Years ago I started collecting fortune cookie fortunes-at least the good ones. My fortune today? One that I am claiming in the name of Jesus? “Business and health matters will improve around you.” 

Our cat is gonna be fine. If you are in the same boat, I pray healing over your precious furbaby. Remember you are not alone.



*image appears courtesy of Facebook