LAFF: Promises Are Promises…….

“But let me say that if they name the potential future king of England after a member of a British boy band, I will eat my shoe.”

I wrote those words above 4 days ago when I was attempting to predict the name of The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge’s 3rd child’s name. And at the time I thought the odds of me having to actually eat my shoe was so remote, I’d see the Cubs win the World Series again before that happened.

So when Kensington Palace announced the name today, my stomach dropped. Of all the royal sounding names they had to choose from, they had to pick Louis, which is a name of a member of One Direction. Although in their defense my promise was hinged on HRH being named Zayn, I knew that if Louis was picked and I didn’t eat my shoe, I was sure at least one of my subscribers would never let me live it down. (Not singling any one person out, I just know my friends 😉 ) 

Because I would have done the same thing if I were them.

Because I’m kind of a jerk. 😛

So, because promises are promises, I will now eat my shoe.

And as an added bonus, I’ll post the DIY how-to below. Enjoy!! (What, you thought I’d eat my ACTUAL shoe? Although that would have probably given me more views, our insurance isn’t zoned for shoe-eating.) #ThanksObama/Trump/WhoeverIsInChargeOfThatStuff 

Wedding Shower Shoes For Blog

Lulabelle’s Loophole Heels For When You Lose A Bet And Need To Eat Your Shoe:

You’ll need:

1 Large Cupcake-baked
1 Pepperidge Farm Mint Milano Cookie
1 Pepperidge Farm Pirouette Cookie
Frosting and various cookie decorations

To Assemble: 

Frost top of the cupcake and place one end of the Milano cookie, at an angle, through the top of the cupcake to look like the middle of the high-heeled shoe. 

Place a dollop of frosting on the bottom of the Milano cookie that is sticking up from the cupcake. Take the Pirouette cookie and using a knife, cut the cookie in 1/4ths, at an angle, depending on how high you want your heel, and attach it to the bottom of the Milano cookie. 

Decorate how you wish and enjoy! 🙂 

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The One Where Lulabelle Predicts The Newest Royal Baby’s Name…….

**The following blog is meant to be lighthearted and is not to be taken seriously. I love all things British and even throw in extra letters in words like honour and parlour when I want to feel fancy and sophisticated.

God save the Queen!**

A bright blue package was delivered yesterday by stork to a hospital in London to the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, HRH William, and Catherine. The baby, weighing in at 8 lbs, 7 oz is for the moment, unnamed.

Which leads this writer to fantasize about what the future heir to the throne could be christened. I think the names on my list might be a bit different from the royal list.

1. Neville (By the way, there are going to be several Harry Potter themed names on this list because, yeah. 😛 ): Neville is a name that is both sweet and of strong character. Neville is loyal and kind.

2. Roy: Because why not?? It’s a good, solid name that was fine enough for commoner grandpas. I think it needs to make the royal rounds.

3. Lucius-Oh sorry, wrong list. 😛

4. Harry-doubtful this will make the cut as it’s already in the family, but again, it is strong, loyal and another Harry Potter reference.

5. Ludwig: Classy and would pay homage to his great grandfather’s roots.

6. Heathcliff: It’s never been used, has a posh ring to it and is a name that can be worn well. Bonus points if he ends up dressing in 18th-century clothing and living on creepy moors in Yorkshire.

7. Fredrick: This is an actual contender and I’d be very happy if they went with this one. 

8. Zayn: This one has a modern, edgy flair and as William and Kate have worked to modernize the monarchy, this one almost makes sense. But let me say that if they name the potential future king of England after a member of a British boy band, I will eat my shoe. 

9. Robert: Although Prince Bob doesn’t have that certain je ne sais quoi as other royal names, it only has one syllable and is easily spelled. 

10. Eric-This one is a bit more complicated. On the one hand he’ll probably be handsome and sweet, but on the other hand, he could be drawn to the sea in search of a mermaid. 

The One Where Lulabelle Reviews the Most Popular Snack Among Jr. High Kids……..Taki’s Hot Chili Pepper and Lime Tortilla Chips………

Before we begin, a disclaimer: I do not endorse eating overly spicy food if you happen to have severe acid reflux issues. Like with anything, if you think this will be too hot, don’t eat it. 🙂

I think I’m going to start a new series on my page where I eat trendy food from now OR I eat trendy food from my childhood (that my parents never bought because they preferred to feed us real food from the ground and trees and stuff) and see if I like it.

The latter would probably take some effort in terms of procurement, but I think the results would be worth it. I kind of already started this accidentally last year when I was on the road with Chad and we stopped at a gas station to get a snack. I got a Lunchable. It was the turkey one. Ironically it tasted like it had been expired about two years but was still on the shelf for purchase.

But I’m still alive so I guess no harm was done. Probably.

Today I’m going to become one of the cool kids, channel my inner middle schooler, and try the uber-popular spicy snack, Takis.

As an added bonus (because of boredom), I’ve also done my makeup today to resemble the Taki’s packaging. You’re welcome. (OK, this was done last night at 11:30, after which I washed my face thoroughly and went to bed 😛 ).

BlogTakisFace

Now let’s get on with the review……

Smell: Like regular nacho’s. Not all that spectacular. With a tiny aroma of lime.

I don’t feel popular yet.

Texture: Dry, like a rough feeling blanket dipped in Tabasco sauce and placed on your tongue.  I know this description is weirdly specific, but if you don’t believe me, get you a bath towel, put some hot sauce on it, and then place the towel on your tongue. Then compare it to the Taki’s.

Then subscribe to my blog because at that point you know I don’t lie or exaggerate. Much. 😉

Flavor: Hot. Then salty and then a little limey. Not very cheesy, but mostly hot. My tongue is starting to feel assaulted. I might die before I make it through the bag. We are out of milk. Pray for me.

Appearance: Like regular Doritos but redder and rolled up into a long tube-y shape. Except for this one chip that decided to stay a triangle chip shape instead of conforming to the rest of the bag and rolling up into a tube-y shape.

This chip is my spirit animal/food/whatever.

The entire 4 oz packaging has 4 servings with each serving packing in 140 calories. Taki’s also come in two other flavors; Crunchy Fajita and Nitro.

TakisPackage

Lulabelle Eats Asia: Crunchy Rice Snack (Korea)……..

Because I just ate an entire zucchini stalk in one sitting by myself, I thought I’d reward myself with something sweet. And you get a bonus blog out of it. 

#WinnerWinnerZucchiniDinner 😛 

Now I had two options left from the latest Asian food haul that showed up last night from the grocery store. A box of Everyburger chocolate biscuits and the Crunchy Rice Snack. The burger biscuits I wanted to do last because they are so iconically epic so tonight I bring you *dramatic drumroll*

Crunchy Rice Snacks: 

Smell: Like a cinnamon roll. 

Look: Puffed rice clusters that resemble corn on the cob. In a word, adorable. 

Taste: The closest thing I can compare it to is a cinnamon flavored rice cake. Not overly sweet, but a perfect balance of crunch and flavor. They make you feel good about yourself and your life choices in that you could have chosen to eat a decadent frosting covered donut, but instead, you chose this corn cob shaped grainy thing. 

And you don’t have frosting covered donuts in the house anyway. 

**We momentarily pause the writing of this blog so that Lulabelle can add “frosting covered donuts” to the grocery list.**

One thing I could see with this snack is that you could break it off from the cob, put it in a bowl and pour milk over it to make a cereal. 

And I would totally do this. 

We will definitely be repurchasing this snack if we can find it again. 

Lulabelle Eats Asia Crunchy Rice Snack
So what happened was I wanted to get a shot of them out of the package so you could see the corn cobby shape. Long story short, I was unable to cram them back inside and they now live in a large ziplock bag. 😛 

Lulabelle Eats Asia: Milkis Yogurt and Milk Flavored Soda/ Roasted Black Rice Snack (Korea)………

After our dinner of pizza last night, I was still hungry for a snack, and it was just my luck that Chad had just made a grocery run and had picked up, unprompted, a few Asian snacks for me to try out on my blog. Enjoy! 


Milkis Refreshing  Milk and Yogurt Flavor Soda

Smell: Very sweet. Took me a few to figure out what the familiar smell was, but it smells EXACTLY like rainbow sherbet, which makes sense because it’s a drink that is supposed to taste like milk and yogurt.

Taste:  Papaya with a Milk Of Magnesia finish. Which is unfortunate because I’m not so keen on the taste of MOM as it almost makes me gag. Even thinking about it now is a bit dicey. 

But it was a necessary evil when you were a kid and needed a little help to poo.

Look: The liquid is a watery milky color much like MOM (definitely doesn’t help to sway my opinion in a positive direction). The can is pretty cute though and matches my current manicure that I just happened to apply yesterday afternoon. 

Lulabelle Eats Asia Milka(2)

Roasted Black Rice Snack………….

Lulabelle Eats Asia Black Rice

First off let’s consider the packaging because I’m sure when you studied the packaging, or just gave it a fleeting glance, you probably thought this was a different kind of product that is currently illegal in the state of Indiana in the form that it presents itself to be on the packaging. So just to address the proverbial elephant in the room, I need to put a disclaimer here……

This is NOT pot. 😛 

Smell: One whiff and I was back at the county fairs of my youth. Where fried food comprised 90% of the booths.

Taste: A bit bland, but I’m not mad at it. Finishes with a tiny sweet kick.

Kind of reminds me of snacks my Grandma B used to have on hand, specifically these rice puff snacks that I’d ask her to put in my lunch when she visited our house during the school year.

When you eat these, you feel like you are adding more years to your life. (And helping facilitate your next poo. I know I keep talking about it, but honestly, when you reach a certain age and find something that works, you pass along the information as a PSA. 😉 )

Ending thoughts on both of these snacks: I’m still on the fence about the yogurt soda, but we’ll definitely be repurchasing the Roasted Black Rice snack.

On The Nationwide School Walkout…..A Historical Perspective……

“Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, and in purity.”  1 Timothy 4:1


To the students who walked out today, I offer some encouragement:

When you hear and see adults criticising you for your choice and say your feelings don’t matter, just remember:

1. Queen Esther successfully petitioned King Xerxes to spare an entire nation from certain death. She is remembered every year during the Jewish celebration of Purim. She was 14. (Esther 1-7)

2. Shadrack, Meshack, and Abednego all mustered up the courage to defy a kingdom order and were all thrown into a fiery furnace where, instead of burning, they came out unsinged. The king looked upon them and decreed that their God must be the one true God.  They were between the ages of 11 and 13. (Daniel 3 NIV)

In our modern times we have:

3. In 1899, newsboys (boys who sold newspapers), went on strike for 2 weeks to protest low wages in New York City. They were successful in increasing their wages. One of the leaders of the protest, Kid Blink, was reported to be between 13 and 14 years old.  (As a side note, the strike was the inspiration for one of my favorite movies, “Newsies.” 🙂 ) 

4. Bana Alabed tweeted in real time the events that were happening in her town in Aleppo, Syria during the height of the crisis there in 2016. She has since published a book entitled, “Dear World: A Syrian Girl’s Story of War and Plea for Peace.” She is 8 years old. 

5. Founding father James Monroe was 18 when he co-signed the Declaration of Independence. 

So my young marchers, take courage. You are here for a reason and our future is brighter because of you. ❤

Thank you!

PS: Always remember you are never alone and are loved and supported more than you can imagine.

 

LAFF: The Not So Thin Black Line……

It may be Friday all week on the blog. I just have too much material from life lately to do any other post.

I hope you don’t mind. 😛

So I recently got enough curiosity and courage to attempt liquid eyeliner to up my makeup game. I went to the store and picked up a very reasonably priced liquid eyeliner pen that I thought I could use easier than a traditional ink and brush liner.

I started practicing using the eyeliner at home before I went out in public. My first attempt at putting it on, I spent a good 20 minutes to a half hour making sure things were even on both sides. After several attempts, I was able to get my liner routine down to 10 minutes from start to finish.

Last night I had plans with a friend to go shopping and stimulate the local economy. Because of my schedule and job, I don’t get out of the house as much as I’d like, so when I do, I like to glam it up a bit. So even though it was a random Monday evening, I reached for my new eyeliner and applied it first to my left eye.

Flawless. 

I went to apply it to my right eye.

I pressed the felt tip, at an angle as per the instructions, to my eyelid close to my eyelashes…….nothing.

“That’s weird”, I thought. “It worked fine a moment ago.”

I repositioned my hand and tried again……nothing. At this point I’m getting frustrated because here I am, just a girl with a dream of seeing other people in her day other than her cats and her husband and she’s about to walk out the door with lopsided eyelids.

I totally would have done it too. But my plans got pushed back a few minutes and I had time to try again to make an even line on my right eyelid.

N.O.T.H.I.N.G!

GAH!! WHY is this so hard?? The package DOES NOT say the product is only good for 2 weeks. 

Even so, I was determined not to just toss the eyeliner-at least until after I used it one last time. And I needed to try to even out my face, so what could I do? 

I may have run the liner under a stream of water. 

That actually worked really well and I’ll be doing that until either, A: That stops working or B: I get an eye infection because I didn’t know that running your eyeliner underwater can give you one. *It should be noted that I don’t necessarily think that would happen, but knowing me, this is an entirely plausible situation. 

So what can you do if you are in the same situation and one eye looks amazing while the other eye refuses to be lined? No worries, just pop on an ungodly bright color of lipstick and nobody will notice your lopsided eyeliner face! 😛

purple lipstick

Some people, during their midlife crisis, buy insanely expensive and impractical cars. I buy insanely impractical lipstick shades. I’m also getting the midlife crisis out-of-the-way 2 years early. 😀