TMI???

Nothing like starting off Monday by navigating naked on all fours through the kitchen trying to find the drain stopper that mysteriously vanished from the edge of the tub–of course this discovery was only made after I was running the water into the bathtub and about to climb in.

Earlier in the day I accidentally made a trash bag out of an empty bag that still had residual catnip inside it from a recently acquired cat toy.

The end result was Little Boy Kitty tearing into said bag of trash, pulling out the contents and then running from the scene of the crime.

We have our hands full. 😛

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*In case you wondered why the blog was late today. I was trying to photograph something with my built in camera when Riley decided he wanted a picture of his bum.  #HesSuchABoy 😛

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Dear Riley: Episode 2…..

Dear Riley, while your dad and I really appreciate your ability to capture and kill all sorts of bugs that enter the house by mistake, we’d very much appreciate it if you didn’t leave the dead carcasses strewn all over the kitchen floor.

Seriously, there are better ways to get mommy to mop the floor.

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Here our littlest furry weirdo mugs for the camera. No worries, the photo was staged and he never actually consumed any caffeine. 😉

Monday Hypotheticals: Regarding What I Found In The Refrigerator……

Dear Chad: Do you remember that leftover brownie in the refrigerator that you said you’d take with you to work this morning? The one that contained Girl Scout Thin Mint cookies in the batter? The one that I almost ate last night but at the last minute Jesus reminded me it was earmarked for you?

Um, I don’t know how to put this, but hypothetically, if I were to get up from my nap this afternoon, open the fridge and find it, would you be terribly upset if I ate it?

This is all hypothetically speaking of course.

#ILoveYou

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Son Of a Monkey’s Uncle’s Mother’s Sister’s Hairstylist!

I am eating chocolate for dinner. I have no regrets. It’s been a long day. Specifically, this is the Mondayest Tuesday that has ever been.

Now I’m pretty sure I’ve used the term “Mondayest Tuesday” before, but I’m sure as shootin’ that the last time I used it wasn’t all that bad in the hindsight of today’s events.

Here is how the day has gone. I get up at 9 to feed the kids, find that Phoebe’s bowl is empty still because Riley ate it all. Phoebe has a raspy cough, so I call vet to schedule an appointment for this afternoon. Go back to sleep. Wake up at 2, Phoebe is still raspy but has eaten half her food. I get ready to go, go to sit down on the toilet and almost sit on Riley who is currently attempting to DRINK FROM the toilet. I get him off, sit down and he tries again to jump up and drink WHILE I’M ON IT. Then Chad gets home and while I’m getting my shoes on, he’s trying to corral Phoebe into the carrier without success. He turns around, Riley is IN the carrier just as pleased as punch. Chad picks it up, tells him to get out please, Riley fakes deafness and ignores him, so Chad picks up the carrier and tips it door forward (I do apologize we did not photograph this, but your imagination could probably paint a pretty accurate portrait of how this all looked)……Riley, still not wanting to get out of the carrier is holding on to whatever he can. He finally jumps out (Gosh, I haven’t gotten to the most stressful part yet. You better strap on a helmet or something. 😀 )

Chad gets Phoebe into the carrier and she’s not happy about it and is crying something awful, because her voice is still raspy AND she’s also scared.

I grab my crutches, think “I don’t need my purse. I can’t carry it with me,” so I leave it on the ground. Chad opens the door for me, I get outside, Chad follows me and shuts the door behind him, leaving Phoebe inside. The moment the door closes he asks me if I have my keys.

N…O…..P……E!

Thankfully our penchant for procrastination finally paid off as we haven’t yet gotten the window lock fixed, so Chad climbs through the window to rescue Phoebe and comes back out the front door that has been locked again. We get in the car, Chad says, “Oh **GOLLY GEE I forgot the keys!” So when we got back he has to do the window dance again.

By the way, Phoebe is fine. Took an X-Ray. They think it’s just an inflamed trachea and gave us medicine.

Which I had to attempt to trick her into taking a few hours later. They suggested stuffing into a soft treat or wet food. We have a can of wet food, but I wanted to try stuffing it in a pill before we had to go that route. So attempt #1 was a fail as I squished it whole into the back of the treat and gave it to her treat side up. She ate the treat and dropped the pill on the floor.

Dang it!!

So my next attempt involved crushing the pill with a paper plate and the back of a spoon.

No dice.

I added water to it and tried mashing it with a fork.

Here I was a humble Mennonite woman crushing up a BLUE pill with the back of a spoon for my cat and hiding it in her food. I felt like I was on an episode of Breaking Bad, minus the actual crystal meth.

So my last attempt was mashing up the pill with water into another soft treat. That worked like a charm. Oh, not that she ate it, but I was able to successfully mash it up into the treat.

Go me! 😛

So as I sit here writing this we are in a sort of holding pattern. She’s still not taken her pill and baby boy kitty continues to steal her food, to the point that I finally had to put it on the counter and hand feed her.

So I’m eating chocolate for supper. After which I plan to veg out on my current favorite video game; Best Fiends.

And wonder what tomorrow will bring.

**Blogger adjusts her crash helmet and makes sure her seat belt is fastened**

**Yeah, Chad didn’t actually say, “Golly Gee!” But our parents read this blog so….. 😉

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I may be eating chocolate for dinner, but don’t worry guys, it’s snack size! #GirlMath

Lulabelle Reviews: Pumpkin Spice Oreos (Allergy Edition)

Are these cookies worth a very mild, totally controllable allergic reaction to Golden Oreos?

Stay tuned. 😛

(Sidenote: Of course I do not advocate anyone eating a food that they are knowingly allergic to. However my reaction is so mild and non anaphylactic, that I decided to just indulge this once. I really hope they don’t suck.  😉  )

So Chad had a work thing to do this evening and afterwards picked up a few groceries. He came back with the items on the list PLUS a package of Oreos.

Now the moment he stepped out the door I thought to myself, “Man, I could really go for an Oreo right about now!” So the fact that he came back with them unprompted reassures me that I made the right call in agreeing to marry him 7 years ago.

Before I can get into my review I have to open them and I have to be honest: This is the most annoying part of limited edition Oreos. The fact that they do not come in the easy open, resealable package. I guess it’s good to work off some calories opening the package because then it’s like you’ve had a little work out and, “Hey, I’m gonna reward myself with Oreos!”

This is basically half of what you do as an adult. Coming up with little rewards for accomplishing menial tasks.

Smell: Whoa! Ok, remember that candle that I talked about a couple months ago? The one that we purchased at a random gas station based on it’s name alone? Yeah, these smell exactly like that. But I suppose the name, “Smell My Nuts” Oreos probably wouldn’t be a big seller.

The smell is very fragrant, like a pumpkin pie, but a fake pumpkin pie candle scent. Not something that you smell and immediately think, “Yes I think I will eat that!” 😛

Appearance: They appear to be the Golden Oreos with a browny orange cream filling. This gives me a little bit of hope that they won’t taste so artificial. I was concerned that the cream would be bright dayglo orange.

Taste: Lord have mercy, here we go…….

HOLY MOTHER, It’s a MIRACLE!!! It’s a graham cracker Oreo that looks very similar to the golden one. So the first flavors that I taste are graham, nutmeg and lots of cinnamon. Not really sure I taste pumpkin.

I need to eat another one….hang on….

Just ate some of the filling by itself and I guess I kinda taste pumpkin. Just a smidge though. The pumpkin is lost in the aromatic flavors of cinnamon and nutmeg. The cookie on it’s own definitely tastes exactly like Teddy Grahams, so that’s a bonus.

Overall I LOVED these and they have been bumped up to my second favorite of the Oreo flavors, the favorite of which is original.

Bon-Appetit’ Y’all!

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A package of Pumpkin Spice Oreos beside our pumpkin spice kitty. Who runs so fast when a photograph opportunity presents itself, you take it, even if he’s mid run and the resulting photo is blurry.

FTC DISCLAIMER: Nabisco did NOT pay me to give them a favorable review. All products purchased with my own hard earned cash.

Monday Missives: Where Lulabelle Comes Up With Alternative Swear Words…..

I’m pretty sure you’ve been there.

You hit your funny bone on a hard surface or accidentally slam your finger in a door.

Then you unleash words that would make the Pope blush.

But then it happens. Your nieces and nephews grow up and start talking.

And they are there when you accidentally shut your finger in the car door.

And they start repeating the new words they just learned.

Oopsy-Daisy!

So today I thought I’d do you a solid and give you a list of alternative swear words to use when little ears are around. I’ll even use them in a sentence:

1. Bullsqueeze!

All the words coming out of Donald Trump’s mouth are pure bullsqueeze.

2. Holy Hannah Montana!

Holy Hannah Montana those chicken wings are so spicy that I’m literally breathing fire! Sorry about that hole I just burned in your sofa.

3. Holy Balls! (Ok, this one is iffy. Use with caution. Or something 😛 )

Holy balls, Batman! Did you see that big boulder coming down the street?

4. Holy Crab Apple! (Apparently part of the art of using alternative swears relies heavily on making something “holy”…….Carry on…..)

5. Holy Buckets! (I have no idea what this means. I mean, if you put holes in a bucket, it renders it useless. Dear Liza. )

6.  Son Of a Monkey’s Uncle’s First Cousin Once Removed! ( I took an old classic and improved it. Yep. And an added bonus with this one is that it takes so long to say it, by the time you do, you forget why you said it in the first place. 😀 )

*use this when you hit your knee on the edge of the table*

So there you have it. Print this out and put this in your pocket or purse in case of a swear emergency.

You’re welcome! 😛

 

Graze Box Verdict…….

**Trigger Warning**  Today’s blog contains mention of a specific bodily function. If you don’t like hearing about bodily functions or need a break from hearing about it (because you have a son between the ages of 6 and 30), you can skip this one. See you tomorrow. 😉


I know you all have been waiting to hear Chad and my first impressions of the Graze Box that came in the mail the other day.

The wait is over.

So in answer to the first question, “How many snacks were left upon Chad’s return?” The answer is all of them.

Fortunately I was able to pacify my hunger with leftover mac and cheese (one of those gourmet home made varieties that contains 6 different cheeses made by our best friend Adam. Everyone should have an Adam.) until Chad came home.

I was so proud of myself that I hadn’t even opened the box. #WaitingIsHard

What was inside the box? 4 different snacks. Specifically:

1. Peachy Orchard (a mix of dried rhubarb, pears and peach fruit drops (basically tiny peach juice gummy balls) )
2. The Cheese Board (cracker-y baked herb bites, cashews, and cheesy bites)
3. Salted Popcorn (literally a tiny pouch of microwaved popcorn)
4. Summertime Punch (dried pineapple pieces, goldenberries (raisins, pineapple syrup, and pineapple juice concentrate), and coconut flakes) )

Each of these snacks are hovering around an ounce in size and contain one serving each. I know what you are thinking, and I totally agree-that’s pretty tiny for a snack.

So I ate them all in one setting.

I was a good wife though and gave Chad the Summertime Punch snack because he loves shaved coconut. It absolutely doesn’t matter that he forgot to eat it and it was still unopened when he got home. So I did the only reasonable thing and opened it myself and ate the dried fruit bits, leaving him all the coconut. I really am a catch, people. 😉

So here are our thoughts (Dang, that was a long*ss intro. Sorry ’bout that 😛 ):

The Good:

-The box contained snacks that were pretty enjoyable.
-Eating all of the snacks in one setting did serve to fill me up.
-The box it came in was cute.
-There were over 100 snacks for me to choose from. I was able to rate each snack so my box was customized, although my top picks were not guaranteed to be in the box.
-All the snacks were relatively healthy with no preservatives. Chad commented that the coconut was plain with no oil, which apparently is not a common thing for a snack mix. I wouldn’t know because I don’t really like coconut so I don’t actively seek it out.

The Bad:

-The serving sizes were teeny tiny. Which is why I had to eat the entire box. Granted, I don’t blame the company for not anticipating my snacking needs, but a bigger serving would have been awesome.
-Considering the size of each of the snacks, the price is a bit up there. Your first box is free with a special code and includes 4 snacks. After that your box is double in size and the cost is around $12. You can choose to receive the box weekly or monthly.

The Ugly:

-None of the snacks in my box tasted all that special. I honestly could go to our local bulk health food store and buy essentially the same thing, but in much larger quantities.

The Unexpected Best:

**Bodily Function Discussion Time**

Because I ate the entire box in one setting, and each snack had several grams of fiber, I uh, well…..I had a really good poo! 😀

So there you have it. I’m glad that we got a free Graze box to try. Even though we won’t be getting it again, I thought I’d review it anyway and let you decide whether or not to get it.

Cheers!