On Halloween Greediness: Or the One Where I Sound Like Your Crazy Old Lady Neighbor…..

Well that was unexpected. Earlier Sunday evening I had been getting ready to go out with a friend. She was on her way to pick me up, so I unlocked the door and turned on the porch light before going into the bathroom to get ready.

About 10 minutes later, I heard a knock on the door.

“Come on in!” I said.

No response, but the knocking continued.

No problem, I thought. I’ll just call her on my cell phone.

After she answered the phone I said, “Hey, just go ahead and come on in.”

Pause.

“Oh, I’m not there yet. I’m Still on the interstate.”

Um, what?? :-O

Yeah. It was in this moment that I realized I had Trick-or-Treaters at my door and here I was, on the toilet, in no condition to open the door.

And it was the day before the actual Halloween.

And call me paranoid, but I’m pretty sure I heard someone OPEN the storm door!!

What the HECK??

**And now begin the portion of the blog titled, “Old Lady Lulabelle/Get Off My Lawn!”**

Back in my day I never remembered Halloween Trick-or-Treating happening more than 1 NIGHT a year. (And we’d NEVER open a door without permission. 😛 )

ONE. NIGHT.

What is up with this multiple nights of going door to door in costume asking for candy from strangers?? I just don’t get it.

I guess maybe since we only had one neighbor growing up–therefore only Trick-or-Treated at one house (and also rang our own doorbell on the way back 😉 ), the thought of going door to door for miles (and days on end) is a bit strange to me.

Or perhaps I’m jealous and lashing out at a childhood bereft of more than one night of candy grabbing merriment a year.

Happy Halloween!

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Here is my Halloween costume I DIY’d for passing out candy to little children. I’m no ordinary bunny, I’m a grunge-bunny from the 90’s thanks to a Facebook meme I saw with a Presidents of the United States reference. This led to watching a couple music videos from Nirvana, Beck and Alanis Morisette.

(I also hurriedly crafted a nose and freckles on my face with gold Sharpie that I am praying comes off with regular soap 😛 )

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Sometimes Halloween Costumes Teach Valuable Life Lessons…..

*the following blog talks about one of my favorite movies, Juno. Keep in mind that I am in no way in favor of teen pregnancy. I love the movie for its humor, wit, and amazing writing. Ok, you may proceed……

It seemed like the best idea ever at the time. Two and a half years ago I came up with the idea of dressing up as one of the characters from one of my favorite movies-Juno-for my friend’s annual Halloween party. I wanted to dress up like Juno McGuff. Complete with oversized jug of Sunny Delight and black Slinky Toy T-shirt. But there was a problem, I didn’t have long hair. Fortunately, fate smiled down on me as I had planned on getting my haircut one day, but the money just wasn’t there, so I had to skip it. And my hair grew longer. It grew so long I realized I could eventually do the Juno costume, so I let it keep growing.

Flash-forward to this last Halloween. I decided I’d definitely would go as Juno. So I set about gathering my costume. Not wanting to spend much, and not already having a Slinky Toy T-shirt, I printed off a picture on the internet and taped it to a black shirt I had turned inside out and cut the tag off of. Hey, I go big or go home. Speaking of which, yes, I did make myself a pregnant belly. I may have even researched How-To’s on craft websites. Seriously, go big or go home. I ended up stuffing a small cloth bag with more cloth and rubber banding it shut. To bump up the realism, I stuffed a pair of socks on the sides. 

Looking back on it now, I really shouldn’t have made it look so realistic. Seriously, I put on the full costume before I put on my shoes. My costume was so realistic, that I COULD NOT put on my shoes without help. 

I was excited to arrive at the party. I imagined the response to my costume would be laughter and delight. Instead I mostly got awkward stares and puzzled looks. One person even inquired how far along I was. If ever there was such a thing as a costume fail, it would have been mine. And no, before you ask, no pictures exist of me in my full costume. The last thing I wanted was for one to end up on Facebook and I’d have relatives calling me up asking why I hadn’t told them we were pregnant. This led to a bit of prep each time a camera was shoved in my face. I had to make sure that it was only my head in the photo. Or if it was a full shot, I had to make sure to let them know that it wasn’t ok to post on social media. At the end of the evening, I took off my pregnant belly, my Slinky Toy shirt, undid my Juno pony tail and reflected on my choice of costume. Here are a few things I learned that I wanted to pass on to you: 

1. Prior to this costume idea, I knew I never wanted to be pregnant or give birth. Wearing this costume with a pretty realistic baby bump, made me realize how difficult life would be for me if I were ever pregnant. I couldn’t even put on my shoes without help. I realized that night that I made the right decision in not wanting to get pregnant. 

2. If you do a crazy costume that someone could mistake for the real thing, try to dial down the realism. I probably could have gotten away just fine without the pregnant belly. There would have been less awkward stares and I probably could have relaxed more.

So, next Halloween when you are thinking about that Freddy-Krueger as Rainbow-Brite costume, maybe take these tips into consideration.

Cheers! 🙂 

Below is a clip from the movie. Featuring Rainn Wilson from The Office. Seriously, how could you go wrong?? Enjoy!!

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*Proof that cats also sometimes have a lapse in Halloween costume judgement appears courtesy of google search