Steemit Exclusive: The One Where Lulabelle Reviews ZICO Coconut Water and Regrets Her Most Recent Life Choice…….

I’m a sucker for packaging. If there is something in a cute package, 9 times out of ten I’ll pick it up and at least 5 times out of ten I’ll end up buying it.

Last night Chad and I went to the grocery store to pick up a few essentials. While in the juice aisle I ran across this:

ZICO WATERMELON COCONUT WATER DRINK
Now in addition to being a cute package fanatic, I’m also a watermelon fanatic, so when I saw the bright pink with specks of black, I knew I had to try it. And it was practically a steal at $2.99. (#HeavySarcasm)

Guys, I was had.

The advertisers roped me in with the cute packaging and by the time I realized how awful the product was, it was too late. I had already taken a sip.

And then I finished it. I KNOW, LINDA! DON’T JUDGE ME. LET ME EXPLAIN!

After my first sip, my face went into such contortions I thought I might vomit. (Ok, you can go ahead and judge me just a tad.) But then I thought maybe it’d get better as I drank it. (And I know what you are thinking, but no Linda, you are wrong, this was alcohol-free. 😉 I’ve just always been an overachiever. Sometimes that doesn’t end well. )

It’s like that idiot who tastes something, declares loudly that it “tastes terrible” and then asks another soon-to-be idiot to try it.

And I’m BOTH idiots.

So I’m sure you are all aching to know how this vile concoction tasted……

I have several thoughts on this and can’t make up my mind. The first taste that hits you when you sip it is…..salt.

Why?? It’s like this drink is catered towards those weird people who insist that salting their melons makes them taste better. Ladies and gentlemen, these people should not be trusted.

Then the flavor morphs into straight up Alka Seltzer which I have bad childhood memories of my mom who gave this to me to drink when I was sick. Thirdly, I’d like to think that this drink is similar to that stuff that they make you drink before you go in for your colonoscopy, which I will be doing, for the first time, in less than 2 years.

Oh, and that sound you just heard? That was the sound of my mother fainting because she forgot how old I am. 😛

So, to sum up, although the packaging is cute, I will not be trying this one again.

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