I’ve been blogging for over two years and in that time I’ve learned that sometimes there are consequences for writing about certain things. You get criticism and you just have to take it, let it roll off your back and move on with your life.
But sometimes those consequences are farther reaching than you had intended and it really makes you think about the content you put out. Two years ago I wrote a blog that, looking back on it now, I regret. I threw shade at a situation that I shouldn’t have and the parties involved have now read that blog, reached out to me and made it clear that it’s up to me to make amends. So here it goes……….
Dear fruit flies:
I’m sorry I wrote you that public break-up letter two years ago. Now, I’m only linking that original post with this one as a point of reference for my subscribers and not to further drag you down. I know now that I should have taken down the blog and issued this apology. They say that hindsight is 20/20 and if I had known we’d go through what we’ve gone through in the last 4 days because of what I wrote 2 years ago, I never would have posted that blog.
I know now that if I hadn’t written that last blog:
1. You wouldn’t have piled onto our litter boxes, causing our oldest cat to decide she doesn’t want to use the litter box, because the bedroom carpet does just fine.
2. I would have WAY less of an audience when I pee.
3. We wouldn’t have to replace our toothbrushes EVERY. TIME. WE. BRUSH. (Not because fruit-flies harbor any sort of disease or anything when they land on our toothbrushes, we are just that paranoid.)*
4. I wouldn’t have had fruit-flies buzzing around my face and almost getting stuck in my white tea-citrus peel-off mask (I was feeling fancy and they had $1 samples at Walmart.)
5. I wouldn’t have had a fruit fly take up residence in my left ear and refuse to leave. I’m hoping it will at least start paying rent. Stay tuned.
6. I wouldn’t be able to watch Riley dance and prance around playing with fruit flies that aren’t visible to the naked eye when they are flying around the room. (Ok, to be honest, this one is pretty entertaining to watch.)
7. We would be able to eat a meal in a reasonable time frame instead of taking 5 times longer because of waving off fruit flies. But on the other hand I guess this does aid in digestion so, thanks?
8. Chad wouldn’t have developed a permanent speech impediment (actually this one is probably more his fault because as a joke he likes to switch the first letters of words to the end of the word and say it wrong and he’s done it for so long that some words are now permanently backwards. 😛 )
Oh screw it! You know what? I’m NOT sorry, can’t live this way anymore and next yearstarting on June 1st, I’m pouring bleach and boiling hot water down ALL our drains every two weeks. In other words……
“GET OFF MY LAWN!!”
*Ok, we don’t actually replace them every time, we just think about it. A LOT.