The smoke detector in our living room is on the way out. Most obviously distraught over the Falcon’s loss yesterday in the Super Bowl, our smoke detector has been squawking all day like a large mouse that’s gotten caught in a trap but is still alive.
I know, it’s horrifying. And I’m alone at the moment and can’t change the battery.
But don’t worry, guys. I was able to DIY a solution. Feel free to use this method and pass it along to others in need……
Happy Monday! 😀
Colon cleanses. They are a big thing in Hollywood (at least they were two years ago) and apparently it cleans you out and helps you feel less bloated and gross and gives you a tinier waist.
But they are SO expensive. What’s a girl to do? (Besides giving up on impossible Hollywood beauty standards and embracing your curves 😉 ). Wonder no further. I just figured out a way to get that same cleansed feeling without spending lots of cash.
Eh, sort of. Read on……
1. Go to Subway (or any sandwich shop of your choice) and order a sandwich. I feel like any variety will do as long as it has meat and flat bread.
2. Take the sandwich home, put it in the fridge and forget about it for about 5 days.
3. After taking it out of the fridge after 5 days, you’ll notice a spongy texture to the flat bread. Eat about half of the leftover sandwich. Discard the rest.
4. Wait about 12-18 hours (in which time you’ve also consumed a pizza with broccoli and cauliflower as toppings) and you’ll begin to feel the effects of the digested sandwich (spurred on by the broccoli and cauliflower pizza) run right through you. Staying near a bathroom is critical.
Clear your schedule. You’re gonna be toilet-bound for a while. You might want to download Scrabble or Candy Crush on your smart phone to play while you wait. Also, expect to have cramping and gas. But think of the end goal…….
When it’s all over your colon will be wiped squeaky clean and your jeans may fit slightly better.
It’s a win-win! 😛
***Yeah, It was food poisoning. Don’t try this at home. At the time of this writing I am fully recovered and enjoying Chocolate covered Strawberry Oreos which I shall review soon. 🙂
The photo above of a ferret pooting a rainbow was made by me for a friend’s birthday. I thought I would share it here to make you smile. 😉