Unintended Consequences of Growing Older…….

Remember that fish oil I blogged about on Friday? The stuff that I take in an attempt to be healthy and live longer?

Yeah. About that.

This morning my body summarily rejected my attempt at getting healthier by vomiting said pill back up, including my breakfast and dinner from last night for good measure.

This is what I get for trying to be healthy.

And to add insult to injury, I had to reset my vomit-counter.

Yes, up until today I had lived 9 blissful years vomit free.

That all ended because of a stupid health supplement.

And my increasingly sensitive gag reflex.

That seems to be getting worse with age.

I may as well forget this whole “healthy” thing and go back to my normal eating routine.

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It is a scientific fact that I’ve never thrown up after eating jelly beans. The same can not be said for fish oil capsules. This is not my fault. 😛

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LAFF: Dinner With a Side……

I blame my mom.

Growing up she insisted that every time we had pizza, we had fresh carrot sticks and celery. I guess that made her feel better about giving her kids fatty, doughy, cheesy goodness with a side of grease. (It should be noted that pizza was not something we ate often. And delivery pizza only happened once a year. 😉 )

Tonight we ordered pizza and I guess I couldn’t get this thought out of my head.

But we were out of carrots and celery.

So we had to improvise.

And we may be at the age where this bottle is a daily part of our eating routine anyway.

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Dear Elizabeth: While You Were Sleeping……

The following entry is written for my niece, Elizabeth, in honor of the Cubs World Series win.


Dear Elizabeth,

Last night while you were sleeping, the universe shifted. The stars aligned and the impossible happened……

The Chicago Cubs won the World Series.

And I can’t believe I just typed that sentence.

The last time that had happened, your parents and grandparents had yet to be born.

It was illegal for women to vote.

There were only 46 states in the US.

Long story short, the world was much different the last time the Chicago Cubs won the World Series.

So the game last night was a very big deal.

That is why your parents and I were yelling so much.

I’m sorry we woke you up.

Love you forever,

Auntie Laura

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Someday Is Today!……

Here we are.

Game 7.

I just can’t believe it.

T-Minus 3 hours till they take the field.

And as I write this, I am somewhere between bursting into tears and vomiting.

But that’s pretty normal for a Cubs fan.

A friend of mine summed up the mood in the Midwest and around the country by opining,

“Tonight could set the record for most American men crying in unison.”

Fingers crossed that these are tears of joy. 😉

#GOCUBS! #FlyTheW! #WeAintAfraidOfNoGoat!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DjC6G0L8zWQ

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One. More. Game. This hat will stay on my head for the entirety of Game 7. Let’s do this!

**The link above is a youtube video of Eddie Vedder’s “(Someday We’ll Go) All the Way”

On Halloween Greediness: Or the One Where I Sound Like Your Crazy Old Lady Neighbor…..

Well that was unexpected. Earlier Sunday evening I had been getting ready to go out with a friend. She was on her way to pick me up, so I unlocked the door and turned on the porch light before going into the bathroom to get ready.

About 10 minutes later, I heard a knock on the door.

“Come on in!” I said.

No response, but the knocking continued.

No problem, I thought. I’ll just call her on my cell phone.

After she answered the phone I said, “Hey, just go ahead and come on in.”

Pause.

“Oh, I’m not there yet. I’m Still on the interstate.”

Um, what?? :-O

Yeah. It was in this moment that I realized I had Trick-or-Treaters at my door and here I was, on the toilet, in no condition to open the door.

And it was the day before the actual Halloween.

And call me paranoid, but I’m pretty sure I heard someone OPEN the storm door!!

What the HECK??

**And now begin the portion of the blog titled, “Old Lady Lulabelle/Get Off My Lawn!”**

Back in my day I never remembered Halloween Trick-or-Treating happening more than 1 NIGHT a year. (And we’d NEVER open a door without permission. 😛 )

ONE. NIGHT.

What is up with this multiple nights of going door to door in costume asking for candy from strangers?? I just don’t get it.

I guess maybe since we only had one neighbor growing up–therefore only Trick-or-Treated at one house (and also rang our own doorbell on the way back 😉 ), the thought of going door to door for miles (and days on end) is a bit strange to me.

Or perhaps I’m jealous and lashing out at a childhood bereft of more than one night of candy grabbing merriment a year.

Happy Halloween!

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Here is my Halloween costume I DIY’d for passing out candy to little children. I’m no ordinary bunny, I’m a grunge-bunny from the 90’s thanks to a Facebook meme I saw with a Presidents of the United States reference. This led to watching a couple music videos from Nirvana, Beck and Alanis Morisette.

(I also hurriedly crafted a nose and freckles on my face with gold Sharpie that I am praying comes off with regular soap 😛 )