Voting Fails and Broccoli: Or Why You Shouldn’t Vote on an Empty Stomach

Well today Chad and I voted in our state’s primary. It was really pretty simple as we have an open primary and anyone that is registered can cast a ballot in the primary. The primaries determine ultimately who will run in November and whittle down the candidates to two.

Despite being an open primary state, one of the rules is that you have to vote for only one party. So if you are a mixed bag like myself, that votes based on the person and not the party, casting my ballot in a primary can be like the first bite of broccoli as a kid. It’s a new food and it’s green, and you are pretty sure it’ll do some harm to you eventually.

In fact you are sure of it. Based on the taste alone.

Anyway, back to today’s events. We were able to get to our polling place soon after it opened–around 6:30 am. Neither one of us had eaten and I hadn’t had coffee as of yet. The plan was to go vote and then go home and immediately go back to bed, so I wanted to wait on coffee until after I got up for keeps.

This strategy was probably a mistake.

Our polling place of choice had, for disabled voters, the electronic option. I suppose I could have asked for a paper ballot, but remember it’s 6:30 in the morning and I hadn’t had my coffee yet.

Seriously, it was an amazing feat that I was wearing pants right-side out.

Now, you’d think that an electronic ballot would be pretty simple and straight forward. Well folks, when you are awake at 6:30 in the morning on an empty stomach and no coffee, straight forward morphs into actual rocket science.

The precinct worker was nice and explained how the electronic ballot works and what I had to do, but because of the early hour and I still hadn’t had coffee yet, I saw his mouth moving, but his words were non-existent. It was like watching a fish’s mouth move up and down. Without the bubbles spilling out because this man-fish is out of water.

Same blank stare though.

When his mouth stopped moving, I looked up blankly, and awkwardly asked him to explain the process again.

After his explanation, I tried to follow his instructions and completed my ballot. I think it was a successful casting.

**Blogger’s husband comes up behind her and whispers in her ear. Blogger’s eyes get bigger and a look of horror comes over her. After a minute she speaks**

“What do you mean, Limberbutt wasn’t on the ballot??!!”

Well, I guess I’ll try again in four years.

Cheers! 😀

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