**I’ve thought about this blog all day and really have respect and gratitude that there is a product out there like this for those that want to use it. That being said, it was just so initially ridiculous that I decided to write this, just for fun. I mean no offense. You may go back to trolling Donald Trump threads. 😀
So, I had another blog almost ready to upload today. I decided to do my LAFF on Thursday this week due to Friday falling on Good Friday. Seriously, it’s a good one that I had almost finished and was about to upload when I discovered something via the Facebook side ads.
It was for a product that was so bizarre, I thought at first it HAD to be fake. Upon further perusal I discovered that this product is very real.
Guys, there really is such a thing as breast milk jewelry.
No, I’m serious.
According to the website Indigo Willow Breastmilk Jewelry: “Breast milk jewelry is jewelry made using a mother’s own breast milk to commemorate her nursing journey. It gives her a tangible reminder of the time they spent nursing and bonding with her little ones.”
I guess that does make sense since really the only other reminders of breastfeeding you get are droopy sore boobs. It would be a nice change to be able to look at something shiny in the middle of all the sore droopiness.
The website also goes on to say that, “The great thing about my breast milk jewelry is that it does NOT yellow or change color over time. I have perfected this process to the point where I’m currently filing for a US patent on it. It’s that good! When ordering from me, you can be sure that your breast milk jewelry will retain its color for as long as you have the piece. Our breast milk jewelry will not disintigrate (sic) in water, go moldy, or change color over time (unlike some others).”
Whoa, hold the phone! “Unlike some others” You mean to tell me this is a THING?? Ladies and gentlemen, apparently this is a legit industry. Not sure how much revenue is generated, I was just blown away by a product I never knew existed. Apparently, if you are in the market for something like this, you now have options.
So after I read about this, I went into my head and following this logic I came up with the following scenario (Cue fast talking salesman):
“Cut down on medical waste and commemorate the work and effort you put into passing that kidney stone by having it crafted into a fancy piece of jewelry; perhaps a smart looking brouche or necklace. And for those hard to buy for folks on your holiday gift list who also value irony, why not have the stone mounted in a belt to be worn around the area of the stones origin? Call now and receive a deal on your commemorative stone mounting for a special price of $19.95. Hurry, this offer ends soon!”
I mean, how do you explain your jewelry if someone ever notices and compliments you on it?:
Random Person: “Oh wow! That’s a lovely necklace. What is the stone? Pearl? Opal?”
You: “Oh thanks. It’s actually breast milk!”
Random Person:…….(crickets begin chirping)………
Now, just to be clear, I am NOT against breastfeeding or breastfeeding in public. I think it’s a beautifully natural thing that helps benefit mommy and baby. But making the product of breastfeeding into a permanent bauble seems to me to be a bit much, akin to taking your child’s umbilical cord and turning it into a work of art to hang in your living room.
But I guess in 2016 we do things a bit differently. Breast milk is made into jewelry. Women put their placentas in stews and pies.
To each her own!