So many moons ago, my husband and I watched the following video. We are both big Muppet fans, and the Swedish Chef is one of our favorites:
Yes, the video is short, but please watch it again. This time pay attention to his hands. Specifically his left ring finger. You can see it quite well starting at 19 seconds. I’ll give you a moment………
Did you see it?? My mind was BLOWN!! In all the years I watched the Muppets I had NO IDEA!!
Ladies and gentlemen, the Swedish Chef is MARRIED!! ***cue shocking grasps of disbelief***
This raises SO many questions! Who is she? What is her name?? WHAT did they serve at the wedding?? Do they have kids? If they do, how do Muppets…..eh, never mind. 😛
So I did what anyone in the 21st century with a question would do. I turned to google. While several theory’s of the identity of his wife are searchable, I was unable to find any definitive answers to my query. So I made up my own which I’m pretty much expecting to be used as Gospel proof.
Many years ago when the swedish chef (no one knows his real name and we aren’t supposed to ask) was back packing through western Europe trying to find himself, he came upon a small village of fishermen Muppets and their families. Walking through the town square, he happened upon a small bakery with a “Help Wanted” sign in the window. On a whim, Chef decided to apply. He was hired immediately. Several weeks into his new job, a beautiful blue haired Muppet with long eyelashes and rosy cheeks walked into the bakery. Her name was Fifi LaRoux. Their eyes met and suddenly, mysteriously, music began to play.
And thus began a torrid, spongy (they’re both made of Muppet sponge 😉 ) love affair. The next few months were filled with picnics, dances, white wine tastings (red would stain their Muppet-y faces) and kayak trips down the little stream by the bakery.
Chef proposed a mere 2 weeks after their first meeting (Muppets are notoriously for jumping into things without thinking about the consequences. This behavior explains Kermit and Miss Piggy’s break-up.) They were married in a small ceremony, at dusk. Tiny rubbery sardines were served as appetizers to guests. A chicken choir with Animal serving as director accompanied the bride down the aisle. And everyone still talks about Beaker’s toast at the reception, especially the part where Scooter handed him the giant fireball of sparklers that lived up to their name. Fortunately medics were on hand and Beaker was quickly patched up and sent home to recuperate.
So, that is the story how The Swedish Chef met the love of his life.