Dear Skittles….Regarding the Green Skittle…

Dear Skittles,

I received a huge bag of your product in my stocking this year. I really love Skittles. My favorites are a three-way tie between strawberry, grape and orange. I’ve even been known to save those till last.

Then it happened. A few years ago, without warning, you made the decision to change the green lime Skittle to green apple. At first we all thought it was some sort of limited edition thing. But lime never made a comeback.

I didn’t even get a chance to say goodbye.

Even though Skittles are a favorite, I don’t have them very often. So I was excited to receive such a large bag. But I gotta tell you, I miss the refreshing zing of lime. I think the green apple is a bit too overpowering. Like that kid in Jr. High choir that is just a smidge too excited about his solo, puts too much into it,  and passes out cold, taking out a few unsuspecting tenors on the way down (probably the last time the choir director keeps a soloist in the middle of the choir).

I’m also wondering what your process was in picking green apple over another flavor like, I don’t know, kiwi. How about watermelon? Those would seem to be a more subtle choice. I suppose kiwi was vetoed since it shares a similar flavor to strawberry, and if you’da made it kiwi, you’da had to re-flavor the red Skittle.

Now if you really wanna mess with people, why don’t you re-flavor the Skittles for April Fools Day, but just don’t tell anyone. I have a suggestion for each color. Alternatively, you could roll these out as part of an Agricultural Appreciation Celebration of Farmers or something called, “Viva La Vegetables!”:

Red: Tomato
Orange: Carrot
Green: Lima Bean
Purple: Eggplant

Ok, maybe that wouldn’t go over so well. Sales would probably plummet and protests would break out across the country. Inevitably someone would create an online petition to bring back the original flavors. The CEO might even step down, bowing to public pressure.

All because someone thought it’d be a good idea to change the flavor of the green Skittle. And change the rest of the flavors to vegetables.

Maybe you should have thought about all this before you made that seemingly small flavor tweak.

Dear Skittles, think of the children. Children who will grow up in a world where the green Skittle is apple. What kind of a world is that? When you need a refreshing zing of lime, but have to settle for the overpowering bite of bitter green apple.

Do us all a favor and bring back the lime. Haven’t we suffered enough??


Maury Povich dropping truth appears courtesy of:




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