What To Do When Your Internet Dies….Or How People Lived in the ’80’s

So it happens. You wake up in the morning and open your computer, ready to blog. For some unknown reason, in the middle of your entry, the cursor starts moving independently. Like a deranged arrow, it begins dancing erratically across the screen. After doing some research, you realize that, unbeknownst to you, condensation drippings from one of the ice cream samples you wrote about earlier in the week has dripped down into your mousepad. Causing a reaction that makes navigating the internet next to impossible.

So, what do you do when you have things to do that require internet, but your computer is not having it? Here is a list:

1. Clean something-Option one here may require a bit of acrobatics, as you are forced to finally face down that mountain of dishes that you neglected while playing multiple games of Candy Crush and blogging about the world’s biggest spider and how it found its way, miraculously, across several continents and into your house.

I mention acrobatics here because the pile is so large, you are forced to stand on a chair that is placed on top of both cat carriers. You should probably do some stretches before you get up on the chair, just so you don’t pull anything in the process. I’d also suggest praying for safety.

2. Read-This ancient form of entertainment began long ago. One would sit in one spot for hours on end, with a rectangular object held in their hand. This object was made of reams of paper called a book, a single piece was called a page. Each page had words written on it for your eyeballs to look at and your brain to process. Reading proved to be a pretty rockin’ time for all that did it. Legend has it that for each book read, a new wrinkle would form in the brain. And he who died with the most wrinkly brain won an unknown prize. I think.

3. Talk to someone-Another ancient form of entertainment was talking to other people. Way back in the ’80’s this was usually done in person or over the phone if that person lived far away. You’d usually discuss what you did that day or what you planned to do the next day or in the coming weekend. One also many times made plans to see that person at a later event, usually consisting of sitting down and eating food. Or watching a movie.

4. Take a walk outdoors-Yes, ladies and gentlemen, in the ’80’s one was aware of a world outside their homes. It was called outdoors. Outdoors usually consisted of trees, green stuff called grass, and dirt. If you were lucky enough, some people even had little bodies of water to wade in called streams. The outdoors was covered with a canopy of blue called sky. The outdoors provided fresh air and sunshine to the delight of all that made their way out-of-doors.

5. Play solitaire-Now, I know you are familiar with this one. This is the computer game you play between phone calls and meetings at work. There is a slight modification to this version though as it takes actual playing cards. Just position the cards in the same places as the computer version. And who knows, you may form at least a half wrinkle in your brain! đŸ˜‰

These are just some ideas of what to you when your internet dies. What else would you add to the list?

Happy Weekend!!

Dial-Up

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