This morning as I woke up to my husband’s heavy metal alarm clock–hello 4:30am–he rolled over and kissed me, then asked if I was OK. Marveling at this new way of greeting me in the morning, I said I was. But why did he ask? “Because,” he said, “around 3:00am you were crying in your sleep.” Um, what? Yep. Sure enough. I blinked my eyes and my lashes were a bit damp. I had cried in my sleep. But why?
So I did a bit of research via Google this afternoon and up popped a diagnosis: I’m depressed. Well, NO DOY GOOGLE! 😛 I was first diagnosed with depression in high school, nearly 20 years ago, and have taken medication to manage it ever since. My depression manifests itself in several ways, but this morning was the first time “unconscious crying” made the symptom list.
The only thing i can think of that may have precipitated the crying this morning was a dream I had. Of course, I remember dreaming, but the substance of my dream is a bit foggy. It may have been that I was being chased by zombies. Or maybe I had a flashback to my previous job. But as I’ve scoured the internet today for answers, I think I have another explanation.
See, yesterday I had a craving for a donut. It came up suddenly and strong. And I happened to post about it on Facebook. Then it snowballed. I began seeing more things about donuts online. Probably due to Facebook’s creepy algorithm that tracks what you search for. So donuts began popping up everywhere online. Like Pavlov’s Dog, my mouth began to water each time I’d see that super sweet, round decadence. Unfortunately, we have no donuts at our house so I’ve had to deal with this craving without relief. My guess is that I went to sleep last night, craving a donut, and had a dream that all the donuts in all the world mysteriously became unavailable anywhere. Of course this would cause me to weep uncontrollably.
Have you ever cried in your sleep? Share your stories in the comments below.
*meme describing how I feel right now appears courtesy of my friend Connor Loyd 🙂
PS: I’d like to give a special shout-out to my sister Kathryn, whose birthday is today. Ironically we always celebrate her birthday by eating donuts. ❤