Dear Fortune Cookie, Stop Telling Me What To Do!!

Happy Monday!! Who else stateside spent July 4th holed up in a small room with their furbabies, waiting for the fireworks to stop? 😛 God Bless America! Anyway, on to today’s topic……

Lately I’ve been eating fortune cookies. My husband frequents a local chinese restaurant on his lunch break, but he doesn’t like the fortune cookies, so he saves them for me. As you know, I’ve collected fortune cookie fortunes for years. It’s interesting what each cookie will say. Sometimes you get ones that are inspiring, other times you get generic-y trite ones that say things like, “Don’t look back. Always look ahead.” Or, “If you give your best, you will get the best.” 

Then there are the days where you get a fortune that is so bizarre, you can’t understand how they came up with it. Today was one of those days. Actually I would classify my fortune today as strangely specific and creepy. Seriously. 

Photo on 2015-07-06 at 16.23

For those of you that can’t read it clearly, it says: “Next summer, you will dance to a different beat.”

The first question I would ask is why next summer?? Why not tomorrow?? Do they know something I don’t? Why can’t I dance to a different beat starting next week?? Why do I have to wait a year? Will it throw off the tilt of the earth if I go against advice and start dancing to a different beat tomorrow? 

Next is to wonder what kind of beat can I dance to. Does it have to be in 3/4th time or can I go faster with 4/4th time? Can I dance with someone or does this have to be a solo endeavor? 

Lastly, what kind of music do I need to use? Because I gotta say right now if it’s techno, I may have to re-evaluate some of my techniques for making life decisions. 

Ah, so many questions for such a small cookie! Have any of you ever gotten a creepy fortune cookie fortune? What did it say? 

Cheers! 

you-are-about-to-become-895-poorer

*Capt. Obvious Fortune appears courtesy: www.weknowmemes.com 

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