Confessions of a Paranoid Cat-Mama

You know you are a paranoid cat mama when: 

1. Every time it rains you worry about fleas

2. You constantly pick at your cat’s fur, ears, and skin looking for anomalies. Turning them every which way. Cat is admitted to the vet with symptoms of vertigo. 

3. After your oldest goes in for dental surgery, you constantly worry about their breath and therefore start smelling the breath of all cats you come into contact with, even if they don’t live in your house. This results in you no longer being invited to parties in homes with cats. 

4. You wonder how much hair is too much to fall off in one brushing. And how long each brushing session should last. Should you really be able to make a new cat after each brushing??  

5. You worry your cat will be made fun of on the playground as a result of the bald spots acquired by over brushing. 

6. After watching a My Cat From Hell marathon, you worry that your cat should be on the show, so you call the show and are put on hold. The call is eventually dropped. 

7. Your cat realizes how fun it is to climb up on the counter where there is food, hours before their surgery and after you’ve stopped feeding them. So you take all the food off the counter and send it to the neighbors. They are on vacation, so you leave it on the porch. In the morning you discover that raccoons have ravaged the stash, and raccoon poo is now all up and down the neighbors driveway. You contemplate moving before neighbors return. 

If you are a fellow paranoid cat mama, you are not alone. Feel free to share this list.  🙂 

Cheers! 

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*paranoid cat appears courtesy: http://www.memecenter.com

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