PSA: What to do When Your Child Cheats at School

Today my blog has a special guest author; my friend Bill. Bill is a football coach and wants to talk to your kids about cheating. Take it away, Bill.

Has your young child recently come home from school with a note from their teacher explaining they were caught in an elaborate cheating ring at their school? Does your child admit to being the ringleader, but doesn’t seem to be sorry or understand the gravity (heehee, get it?? ūüėČ ) of the situation? Well, you are in luck. All you have to do is purchase the New England Patriots¬†Cheaters Never Prosper (That Much) Educational Packet. For 4¬†easy payments of $250,000 (+$10,000 S&H), you will educate your child on the pitfalls of cheating. This educational kit includes one 2015 Patriot Superbowl ring in the shape of a tiny ball deflater,¬†a time out timer that can only be set for 4 minutes-one minute for every game Brady has been suspended, and a football that can be deflated with the ring (Show your little cheater¬†how much fun throwing around a completely deflated ball can really be).

For an additional 10 G’s, Tom Brady himself will visit with your child and teach him a few pointers on why cheating is wrong. Apparently his appearances are a requirement for¬†some sort of “community service” program.¬†

2015 patriots superbowl ring

*Disclaimer: This PSA is in no way associated with the NFL or the New England Patriots in an effort to raise fine money accrued because we are a bunch of blatant, dirty cheaters. Trust us. We’d never lie to kids. Oh, and make sure to please only send cash.


In all seriousness, I hope this made you smile. Share with any football fans you know. #GOCOLTS! ¬†ūüėÄ

Cheers!

*totally believable superbowl ring appears courtesy of: http://memeinternet.blogspot.com/2015/02/2015-patriots-superbowl-ring.html

 

Somedays…..

Somedays are long because of a lack of sleep the night before due to needing a refill on your insomnia medicine.¬†You’ll lay in bed for hours, trying to will yourself to sleep, even singing Billy Joel’s¬†song, “Always a Woman” in your head-repeatedly. After a few drowsy rounds of the 70’s classic, you give up on sleep, put on an episode of Desperate Housewives and try to fall asleep later. Except later doesn’t come. The dark night transitions to slivers of light. Birds begin chirping. And you realize sleep¬†is not going to happen anytime soon. Then your husband awakens and things really take a turn. Realizing there is no way you can try to sleep through his heavy metal shower tunes, you pull up another episode and figure you can try to sleep later.

Midway through season 5, you finally resolve to really try this time, climb into bed and…..you wake up several hours later,¬†a small sleep victory that will end up being your only sleep of the day. You are pretty gross at this point because to try to block out any smattering of light, you take all the covers from the bed and pile them onto yourself, making sure your entire head is covered in darkness.

After several hours of being under 3 ft of blanket you wake up in a pool of sweat. So a bath is in order. Not wanting to wash your hair again, it is pulled back in a hasty¬†ponytail. While you are enjoying your bath, a phone call is made to see if the RX you so desperately need will be ready to pick up at the pharmacy. But there is a catch…..you need to be seen at the dr. first. Panic sets in as you realize it’s 3:30 and the office closes at 4:30. Thankfully they have an opening at 4. So you haul booty out of the tub, get dressed and while you are putting on your shoes, your cat-who has plenty of food and water-decides it’d be in her best interest to bite you on the hand. Good thing you are going to the dr.

It’s only then that you look in the mirror and realize your hair resembles that of an extra from the cast of¬†Les Miserables. “Whatever, it’s your favorite musical,” you think as you pour yourself into the car and count down the hours till you can get some real sleep. After being seen by the dr and waiting for your ride, you peruse the magazines and find a perfume sample of a classic fragrance. You rub it on yourself–you have a date later–and it’s only then that you contemplate the number of people who have done the same thing. With the same sample. Oh and that sample? Well, you now accidentally smell like a grandma. Awesome!

Arriving home, your stomach growls even more. Focusing so much on trying to sleep that you haven’t eaten all day, you look forward to dinner even more. When dinner finally arrives it’s as if angels from heaven have come down and cooked your meal themselves….it’s that good. And the glass of sangria you’ve promised yourself would be at the end of this day-perfection.¬†

I had a long day. But it is over and tomorrow will be better. Or maybe not. If you’ve also had a long day, take heart. You are not alone. Just remember to take time and relax, have a glass of sangria and remember tomorrow is another day.¬†

Cheers!

And speaking of Les Miserables, it’s always been a dream of mine to be a part of the cast. Or do this. Enjoy!

In Celebration of Mothers…..

This Mother’s Day was a first for me. For the first time I knew in my heart that I’d never be a mother in the traditional sense. In years past, I’d always approached Mother’s Day by thinking that “someday” I would, on that day, be greeted with flowers and children’s laughter, breakfast in bed featuring burnt toast, and a bowl of cereal filled to the brim with overflowing milk. All this would be presented on a tray marked with a sad-looking dandelion in a vase. But this vision changed at Christmas when my husband and I made the decision that we’d remain childless.¬†

Since then, I’ve had lots¬†of time to reflect on mothering. Specifically the different ways in which women can be that nurturing presence. And it doesn’t always involve children. Today on my blog, I’d like to pay tribute to the amazing women in my own life that mother in ways that have made the world a better place.¬†

To the mother who raised me to be the woman I am-thank you. When I was first-born there were so many unknowns, but you carried on and raised me to think I could do and be anything I wanted, despite my disability. Because of your influence, I have the confidence to face the hard stuff with faith and trust. 

To my mother-in-law who singlehandedly raised three boys-thank you. Thank you for raising three of the most self-less, compassionate, generous, kind-hearted gentlemen on the planet. All three of us wives appreciate the hard work that went into raising boys to know how to properly treat a woman. Trust me when I say we count them as tremendous blessings every day. 

To my amazing sisters-in-law who have worked tirelessly to foster shelter pets, and raise pit bulls from birth to prove they really can be sweet and loving-thank you. It’s because of your work and love that dogs and cats are given renewed chances at life they wouldn’t otherwise have if it weren’t for you.¬†

To my friends who’ve recently miscarried, but choose to continue to serve in the nursery at church-thank you. Seeing you choose to fulfill your calling despite your loss has served as an encouragement to others, and an example of what true bravery looks like.¬†

To my kindergarten teacher who never had children of her own-thank you. Through you I’ve learned that I can still be a positive influence on many children without parenting them. More often than not, this influence can last a lifetime.¬†

So Happy Mother’s Day, whether your children have two legs or four. Whether they live in your house or just visit your classroom. Or even if they’ve¬†earned a fast pass to heaven. Know that each of you are valued, loved and appreciated for all the hard work you do.¬†

Cheers!

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“Even Chuck Norris Can’t Defeat It!”

Such a full day was Thursday. Fully intended to blog but that didn’t happen, did it? (It’s currently past midnight here, so yeah, nada). But that’s ok. Some days you have to take time to attend to other matters of life. So, as an early Friday post, I leave you with this video of one of my favorite songs. Throughout¬†my life music¬†has acted as¬†a stress reliever for me.¬†Oh, and I’m kinda stoked to be able to hang out with these guys tomorrow.

Enjoy! Know that you are never alone and loved more fully than you can ever comprehend. Cheers! ūüôā

SWP-WKD-370x250          

*Sidewalk Prophets appear courtesy of Youtube and http://www.life885.com

The Breakfast of Champions….Of a Certain Age

There are many aspects of mental health that are impossible to control. Family history is a big one. Body chemistry plays a part as well. However, there are certain factors you can control. What you put inside your body and how you treat your body are two ways you can gain control over anxiety and other mental issues. 

I’m also getting to the age where…and this is hard to admit….I need to start watching my cholesterol level. Which sucks because I’m used to eating pretty much whatever and not having to worry about it. Welcome to your 30’s. The age when you can no longer eat chocolate covered potato chips for breakfast. Well, you can, but you may be rewarded later with a stomach ache….and in my case, acid reflux.¬†

So what do you do on days where you wake up with anxiety and just want something comforting and sweet, without adding unnecessary crap to your diet? Our house just discovered the solution, and you’re gonna love it.¬†

In an effort to start eating healthier and lower our cholesterol, my husband and I have started eating a different breakfast. Start out with vanilla yogurt, any brand. Put this in a bowl-how ever much you want. Then, top this with dry oatmeal. I’d say a good handful is plenty. It’s just sweet enough to satisfy a sweet tooth, and is filling enough that you don’t have to reach for that cookie an hour later. Or if you do, you don’t have to feel guilty about it. ūüėȬ†

This week I took this recipe up a notch and added a (generous) sprinkle of Ovaltine powder in chocolate malt. Ok it was less of a sprinkle and more like a dump :-P. Not only did that make it a bit sweeter, but added a girls’ best friend…..chocolate. I suppose to really boost the protein power, you could add protein powder. I may try it with bananas one of these days.¬†

So, to remind you of the list of ingredients, I am including a picture below. And yes, I realize yogurt is nowhere to be seen, but it’s become a bit of a hot item in our house. A kind of “first come, first served” thing. And my husband gets up way before I do so, he came, he saw, he conquered. Honey, if you see this on your way home from work, add yogurt to the list of things we need from the store. We are also out of milk.¬†‚ô•

Photo on 2015-05-06 at 17.09

I hope this helps you if you are struggling to eat healthy. Please note that this is not a cure-all for anxiety and other mental health issues. Talk to your doctor about starting any new diet and if prescribed medication, keep taking it as directed. 

Remember you are not alone. 

Cheers!

PS: I’d love to hear suggestions of what you’d put in this new breakfast staple. Comment below with your suggestions. Let’s help one another maintain healthy bodies.

Writer’s Block, Anxiety and The Problem With Cats

Well, I’m back today! Yesterday was a perfect storm of events. Being a Monday, I woke up with anxiety that lasted all day. Then I¬†had trouble putting my thoughts down on paper for a decent blog.¬†¬†And finally I think our oldest cat, who we affectionately refer to as “Princess Fussy-Butt,” accidentally threw us off-line with her puma-sized paws when she ran behind the couch to escape God knows what. Her likely source of fear? My husband had just walked in the door with an armload of groceries. Yep. I couldn’t explain it further even if I tried.¬†

She was in rare form this weekend as she spent time on Sunday afternoon doing what I can only describe as wrestling with one of my leg braces. Although she defended her actions saying the leg brace started it, and if she hadn’t thrown it quickly into a half nelson she would have surely been killed. She ended the day by finding my eyelash curler and putting it in her mouth.¬†

So if you had a Monday like mine, you are not alone. I survived and so will you. You may just need to go out and buy another eyelash curler.

Cheers!

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*diva cat that is not ours appears courtesy of:¬†http://www.persian-cats.com/phpbb/some-shameless-tutu-action–t14472.html

Just Keep Swimming…..

If you ever feel like you aren’t much of an athlete, remember that at one point in your life, you WERE the fastest swimmer!¬†

Why someone decided to depict this on a phone case, I have no idea. Thanks Amazon! ūüėĬ†
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I hope this made you at least crack a smile. Happy friday! I’ll see you back here on Monday.¬†

Cheers! 

*world’s weirdest phone case art appears courtesy of http://www.amazon.com (and ‘merica)