To the Two Gentlemen in the Taxi Wearing a Collective Four Bottles of Cologne…….

Ok, I think I understand your logic. You are thinking you want to smell nice for the ladies. After all, scent is part of making a good first impression. But if my eyes, as a fellow passenger, start burning from the scent within a few blocks of you getting into the cab, I venture to guess that you may return home D & D; dateless and disappointed. Not only that but you’ll return home confused as to why. The ladies at the bar may not tell you, so I’m here to clue you in–you’re wearing too much cologne. But there is hope. After taking an informal social media poll, I have some tips to help you pass the “sniff test.”

Friends post 4

I know what you’re thinking…”But the bottles are so small I need several. At once.” Unless you are trying to cover up 2 weeks of not showering after long hours spent at your job in the fish market, less is more. Oh, and the previous scenario is no excuse. Take the time to shower, thoroughly, with as mildly scented a soap as possible, and then apply only a few spritzes to your neck and wrists. After applying have a friend, preferably one who does not wear cologne and has been sequestered in another room with a plug over their nose, enter the room and tell you if you are wearing too much. And yes, this only works if your friend doesn’t suffer from anosmia. So choose wisely. Some cologne pack more of a punch than others, so even more than one spritz can be too much for some brands. Make sure to also apply deodorant. Again, men’s deodorant can itself be heavily scented, so keep that in mind when choosing a cologne. 

Also, keep in mind that you’ll be interacting with many different types of people, in a small, sweaty place. Some of these people have sensitivities to too much cologne. This is why it is extremely important that if you normally wear a heavily scented deodorant, it might be in your best interest to skip the cologne all together or apply with a very light hand. 

Going clubbing with your friends in hopes of finding a nice girl to go out with can be tricky. With the right level of scent and a great personality, you’ll be one step closer to finding her. Just put down that second bottle and walk away. 

Cheers!

*Phoebe Buffay and Rachel Greene appear courtesy of: http://www.behindgreeneyes.com/2014/09/20-years-of-friends-its-friend-versary.html

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