Today I am in recovery mode from a wedding I attended on Saturday. No, not because of that, I only had a small glass of wine ;-). From what am I recovering? Simply put, I ate too much!
Weddings are fun. As a guest you get to go, eat your weight in amazing food and cake-or pie in this case, and then attempt to work it off by dancing. It’s really the perfect weight-loss scenario. Except when you overdo it. Today I stand before you as exhibit A. 😀
The wedding this weekend was beautiful. The primary colors were white and gold and large feathery pom balls were used to decorate the church in place of flowers. Some commented that it looked like something out of Dr. Seuss; a bit of whimsy. As I sat there during the ceremony, I couldn’t help thinking back to our wedding almost two years ago….
As a child, I had dreamed of my wedding many times. I always envisioned a large congregation at the church with a great feast at the reception. There would be speeches and dancing. Fun would be had by all. At one point in my childhood I even picked out bridesmaids dresses from the JCPenney catalogue. They were a hideous shade of rhubarb pink.
Years passed, and the dreams of my perfect wedding continued. There were still lots of people gathered and a delicious feast. Then I became engaged to the man of my dreams. Dreaming about your dream wedding and actually planning it, realizing it will actually happen, are two very different things. Purposefully planning your wedding involves making decisions about venue, guest list, food and how much each of these things are gonna cost. Physically planning your wedding likely will result in an event vastly different from your childhood dreams.
Our wedding had to take into account one more factor than money, venue and food. My anxiety-especially in regards to how many people would be in the congregation. I’m a person that loathes the idea that weddings are all about the bride. I wanted our day to be a reflection of us both. So the fact that my husband may have wanted more people than my anxiety could handle kinda sucked. Of course, being the amazing partner that he is, he tells me to this day that he wanted to do only what I could handle.
We ended up having immediate family only, with a few very very close friends in attendance. My sisters and my best friend stood up as my maid of honor and matrons of honor, and my husband’s brothers and my little brother stood up as best man and groomsmen. A few more family members took seats in the congregation. We didn’t have a rehearsal the night before, we kinda had a briefing a few minutes before we started. That was a benefit of having a tiny wedding, we didn’t have to practice a huge production.
Now I thought long and hard about our wedding and what we wanted because I wanted to avoid one element….regret. I didn’t want to look back on our wedding and say, “Oh, I wish we had done this, or this…” and I thought I had. But sitting at this beautiful wedding this weekend, I had snippets of regret. Regret that my mind is such that I couldn’t handle a typical wedding with lots of people. This regret vanished midway through the reception as I began to tire and realize how much more tired the bride and groom must feel after the months of planning and preparation.
If you live with anxiety, your wedding may not look like someone else’s. You may have to scale back the guest list, or you may need to elope. That is perfectly ok because at the end of the day the most important thing is that you are married! And your marriage should take priority over a large wedding anyway. So cast off your regret, kick up your heels and dance off those wedding day calories with joy! Or make sure to pack some extra antacids, just in case.
Remember you are not alone. I’ll see you tomorrow!
PS: Below are a couple glimpses of our wedding that I LOVED…Our shoes brought in an element of whimsy…..
and #2: Our wedding song. This was played during the processional by my amazing cousin, Ted Yoder. Check him out in the video below and find more of his stuff at www.tedyoder.com