Geography sucks. I remember being in High School and during our final exam in World Geography Jr. year, I was the last kid to finish. Actually I didn’t finish, I had to quit because I had stayed so long the teacher needed to go home. True story. You know another time geography sucks? When you finally meet the man of your dreams and he’s several hours away by car. And you can’t drive.
I had met him after paying for a 3 month subscription to www.christiancafe.com (a site we highly recommend, by the way 😉 ), a Christian dating website that featured real-time messaging, and a feature to block any toads met along the way. We met one day after I had sent him a message, a short note about how I had seen his profile and enjoyed reading it and looked forward to talking with him further. I also sent him a wink, an emoticon set up by the site that members were able to send each other, denoting that they’d like to get to know you better. Then I waited. Thankfully it only took a day for him to respond.
Fast forward one month. We had been talking on a daily basis about everything from family to preferred hobbies. Finally we discussed meeting in person. Our first date was pure magic. He drove to my city and I took the local bus to meet him at a restaurant. Conversation was effortless and fun. For the first time in a situation such as this, I felt comfortable actually being myself. After we parted ways for the evening, I found myself in tears. Not because our date was horrible, but because I didn’t know when we’d be able to see each other again. Have I mentioned geography sucks? Well, fear not. Through my husband’s and my -nearly 3 yrs- long distance relationship, we learned ways of shortening the gap between our homes. We hope this list helps you or someone you know to get through the time apart.
1. Skype is AMAZING! I had installed Skype after the birth of my first nephew in an attempt to keep in touch–we are also long distance. Skype, or FaceTime, is great when you miss each other but you need more than a phone call
2. Talk about EVERYTHING, no matter how difficult. When we were dating, my future husband and I only saw each other once a month. Towards the end of our long distance stint we were thankfully managing every other week, but until then, things could get a bit bumpy at times. When we were together, we wanted to enjoy each other’s company. Since we only saw each other for two days out of a few weeks, if a conflict arose, we worked to solve it right away so we could enjoy ourselves.
3. Embrace your separateness. Despite the difficulty being long distance, there was part of me that enjoyed it. At least in the beginning. Being apart meant that I had my life, he had his, but then we had our life together. Being able to recognize your separateness is something that can definitely improve a relationship. I’m sure if we had lived in the same place in the beginning, the focus would have mostly been on our relationship together more than what we each brought to it. Use this time apart to strengthen yourself and your interests. I guarantee it’ll make you a better partner for your mate.
4. Maintain a Healthy Diet. I fell into this trap during our long distance relationship and had the mindset that every time I traveled to see my honey, I was on vacation and therefore, I could have the extra-large plate of nachos. If it’s been several months between visits, maybe you can get away with this, but if you are traveling every other week, it’s best to try to stick to healthier options.
5. Pray together. This technique should probably be embraced long after the distance closes, but it’s especially important when you are long distance. It’s mentally draining on both of you to maintain a relationship through long distance, and prayer offers you spiritual support you can thrive on.
I hope you found this list useful. Please feel free to share this with anyone you know that could benefit.
Remember you are most certainly not alone.
*Affiliate link provided. All opinions are my own