Dating With Confidence: A How-To Guide

Today has been crazy busy so far. We had errands then had to run to a tax appointment. Of course as soon as we were ready to leave, our oldest cat threw up. Twice. Oh, did I also mention it is raining and gloomy outside? Yep, it’s been a stress filled day so far. You know what else can be stressful? Dating.

Dating in Junior High and High School can be fun. Honestly the only thing kids who are dating in Jr. High do is awkwardly hold hands while at the same time avoiding each other. It may culminate in a public fight/break up session. Very dramatic. Of course this is a generalization based very loosely on my own experience and from what I’ve observed over the years.

In high school things get moderately more serious, with some relationships lasting through high school and ending in marriage (this worked for many of our grandparents and some of our parents). What about those of us this description doesn’t cover? Waiting to date till you are older-due to family or religious tradition, or having never been asked-is a fairly recent phenomenon of our generation. Even millennials are typically shown to meet their partner and marry later in life, which also delays the arrival of children. So in the next paragraphs, I offer a few dating tips for those of you who are older and hopefully a bit wiser.

1. Actually use the word: There is an unspoken rule that when one is asking for a date, the word “date” is not to be used. For example:

Boy: “So, do you want to go out for coffee sometime? Girl: “Sure, let me check my schedule and get back to you.”

The two parties then go out for coffee, and one or both of them will be sitting at the table mentally trying to figure out if this is a real date or not. The last time I was interested in a boy, before I met my husband, I called him up and *gasp* asked him if he wanted to go out on a DATE with me. My reasoning? I’m not getting any younger and didn’t have time for ambiguity (of course I didn’t explain my reasoning. That’s a bit much 😉 ). Could this come off as a bit too forward? Perhaps. But to the right person, you convey an air of confidence. This my friends is an attractive trait. Use it well.

2. Practice: No matter if you are a girl or guy, if you are wanting to ask someone out but are shy-practice. Write down what you want to say on a piece of paper (Sidenote: the very first time I asked a boy out in High School, I did it over the phone, reading off a slip of paper I had written before hand. I still have that piece of paper somewhere-see, it also makes a lovely keep sake of your growth as a person-awww! 😀 ) Or you can practice in front of a mirror. Practice can relieve your nerves and boost your confidence.

3. Clothes-Go classy but comfortable: There is nothing worse than being nervous about a first date, and worrying that you are gonna teeter right out of your 9 inch heels, or that something else will find it’s way onto the dinner table if you wear your favorite strapless dress. If you are used to heels that high, go for it. Just don’t try them for the first time on a first date. Wear what makes you feel classy but comfortable.

This list is by no means complete but I hope it gives you a few tips that’ll help you date with confidence. Good luck! Remember you are not alone.


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